# Patriot vs. Progressive Smart Home Comedy Skit

- Original post: https://www.twitter.com/i/status/2098044231105360318
- Source account: [@WearForbidden](https://x.com/WearForbidden)
- Source language: English
- Duration: 1:22
- Published: 2026-09-14
- Canonical URL: https://www.translate.mom/transcript/0KewP9VBwkqm/en/patriot-vs-progressive-smart-home-comedy-skit

## Transcript

[0:00](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/0KewP9VBwkqm/en/patriot-vs-progressive-smart-home-comedy-skit) Welcome to Patriot Smart Home. Freedom, automated.

[0:02](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/0KewP9VBwkqm/en/patriot-vs-progressive-smart-home-comedy-skit?t=2) Now this is what I'm talking about. TV, put on Hannity.

[0:06](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/0KewP9VBwkqm/en/patriot-vs-progressive-smart-home-comedy-skit?t=6) To continue, please kiss the wall displayed on your screen.

[0:09](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/0KewP9VBwkqm/en/patriot-vs-progressive-smart-home-comedy-skit?t=9) The what? Please kiss the wall displayed on your screen.

[0:13](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/0KewP9VBwkqm/en/patriot-vs-progressive-smart-home-comedy-skit?t=13) Refreshment locked. Please reaffirm your commitment.

[0:18](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/0KewP9VBwkqm/en/patriot-vs-progressive-smart-home-comedy-skit?t=18) Set temperature to 69 degrees. To continue, please kiss the wall displayed- I already kissed it twice.

[0:23](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/0KewP9VBwkqm/en/patriot-vs-progressive-smart-home-comedy-skit?t=23) Previous affirmations have expired. This damn thing makes me kiss a wall every time I want a beer.

[0:29](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/0KewP9VBwkqm/en/patriot-vs-progressive-smart-home-comedy-skit?t=29) Have you considered our Progressive Smart Home?

[0:33](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/0KewP9VBwkqm/en/patriot-vs-progressive-smart-home-comedy-skit?t=33) What's that gonna do, make me chop my Twinkie off and put on a dress?

[0:36](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/0KewP9VBwkqm/en/patriot-vs-progressive-smart-home-comedy-skit?t=36) It doesn't have a loyalty wall. How progressive?

[0:40](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/0KewP9VBwkqm/en/patriot-vs-progressive-smart-home-comedy-skit?t=40) Very.

[0:43](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/0KewP9VBwkqm/en/patriot-vs-progressive-smart-home-comedy-skit?t=43) Ronald Reagan help me. Fine, sir. I'm a gender-flex, non-binary, trans-feminine retail associate.

[0:51](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/0KewP9VBwkqm/en/patriot-vs-progressive-smart-home-comedy-skit?t=51) Welcome to Progressive Smart Home. Inclusion, automated.

[0:55](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/0KewP9VBwkqm/en/patriot-vs-progressive-smart-home-comedy-skit?t=55) Yeah, yeah, put on Fox News. Streaming requires participation in the Housing Equity Program.

[0:59](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/0KewP9VBwkqm/en/patriot-vs-progressive-smart-home-comedy-skit?t=59) What? To continue, please accept one resident into your home.

[1:02](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/0KewP9VBwkqm/en/patriot-vs-progressive-smart-home-comedy-skit?t=62) Into my house? Correct. Where's decline?

[1:04](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/0KewP9VBwkqm/en/patriot-vs-progressive-smart-home-comedy-skit?t=64) Declining is not currently supported. Of course it isn't.

[1:09](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/0KewP9VBwkqm/en/patriot-vs-progressive-smart-home-comedy-skit?t=69) Muhammad? This ain't Dearborn. Dirk a dirk your way on out of here.

[1:12](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/0KewP9VBwkqm/en/patriot-vs-progressive-smart-home-comedy-skit?t=72) It's Samir. I'm really sorry. The Patriot Smart Home system burned down my house.

[1:18](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/0KewP9VBwkqm/en/patriot-vs-progressive-smart-home-comedy-skit?t=78) Wait a minute. Who the hell makes both of these things?