# Bruce Willis on Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis - Original post: https://www.twitter.com/i/status/2095600828497186872 - Source language: English - Duration: 4:11 - Published: 2026-09-04 - Canonical URL: https://www.translate.mom/transcript/2szUH9cEsFzs/en/bruce-willis-on-between-two-ferns-with-zach-galifianakis ## Transcript [0:03](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/2szUH9cEsFzs/en/bruce-willis-on-between-two-ferns-with-zach-galifianakis?t=3) Bruce, you can't smoke in here. You can't smoke in here. Give me that. [0:08](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/2szUH9cEsFzs/en/bruce-willis-on-between-two-ferns-with-zach-galifianakis?t=8) You can't smoke. Thank you. [0:19](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/2szUH9cEsFzs/en/bruce-willis-on-between-two-ferns-with-zach-galifianakis?t=19) Uh, hello, welcome to another edition of Between Two Ferns. [0:21](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/2szUH9cEsFzs/en/bruce-willis-on-between-two-ferns-with-zach-galifianakis?t=21) Um, my name is Zach Galifianakis and, uh, my guest today is Bruce Willis, um, movie star and harmonicist. [0:33](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/2szUH9cEsFzs/en/bruce-willis-on-between-two-ferns-with-zach-galifianakis?t=33) What was that, a wasp? W- are there wasps in here? [0:37](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/2szUH9cEsFzs/en/bruce-willis-on-between-two-ferns-with-zach-galifianakis?t=37) Sorry. So, uh, how many children do you have? [0:42](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/2szUH9cEsFzs/en/bruce-willis-on-between-two-ferns-with-zach-galifianakis?t=42) Three. Three. Which is your favorite, Ashton? [0:48](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/2szUH9cEsFzs/en/bruce-willis-on-between-two-ferns-with-zach-galifianakis?t=48) Do you, do you get his tweets? They wrote that line on purpose. [0:51](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/2szUH9cEsFzs/en/bruce-willis-on-between-two-ferns-with-zach-galifianakis?t=51) Zach knew exactly what he was doing. Bruce knew exactly what he was doing too. [0:57](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/2szUH9cEsFzs/en/bruce-willis-on-between-two-ferns-with-zach-galifianakis?t=57) This is so hilarious. Like, you call him and go, "Hey, I got your tweets." [1:04](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/2szUH9cEsFzs/en/bruce-willis-on-between-two-ferns-with-zach-galifianakis?t=64) Pretty good tweeting today. When you were making The Whole Ten Yards, were you ever worried that it would be too good? [1:13](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/2szUH9cEsFzs/en/bruce-willis-on-between-two-ferns-with-zach-galifianakis?t=73) I'll just, I'll just keep moving. Did you know that some actors turn down roles? [1:21](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/2szUH9cEsFzs/en/bruce-willis-on-between-two-ferns-with-zach-galifianakis?t=81) A- any plans to reboot the Grumpy Old Men franchise? [1:27](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/2szUH9cEsFzs/en/bruce-willis-on-between-two-ferns-with-zach-galifianakis?t=87) Bruce, I'm gonna need you to loosen up a little bit. [1:30](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/2szUH9cEsFzs/en/bruce-willis-on-between-two-ferns-with-zach-galifianakis?t=90) It's... this is, um, hard for me. I'm very... [1:33](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/2szUH9cEsFzs/en/bruce-willis-on-between-two-ferns-with-zach-galifianakis?t=93) I'm, I'm intimidated, and you don't seem to be answering the questions, and I, uh- Have, have we started? We're not doing an interview now, right? [1:41](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/2szUH9cEsFzs/en/bruce-willis-on-between-two-ferns-with-zach-galifianakis?t=101) No, no, no, we've been doing it for about four minutes. [1:46](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/2szUH9cEsFzs/en/bruce-willis-on-between-two-ferns-with-zach-galifianakis?t=106) What are you talking about? What are you talking about, Willis? [1:50](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/2szUH9cEsFzs/en/bruce-willis-on-between-two-ferns-with-zach-galifianakis?t=110) You ever heard that before? No. It's a little easy, I gotta tell you. [1:56](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/2szUH9cEsFzs/en/bruce-willis-on-between-two-ferns-with-zach-galifianakis?t=116) Look who's talking. There we go. That's product placement. [2:13](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/2szUH9cEsFzs/en/bruce-willis-on-between-two-ferns-with-zach-galifianakis?t=133) Under the armpits? [2:16](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/2szUH9cEsFzs/en/bruce-willis-on-between-two-ferns-with-zach-galifianakis?t=136) Sorry. [2:22](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/2szUH9cEsFzs/en/bruce-willis-on-between-two-ferns-with-zach-galifianakis?t=142) Let's talk about, uh, where do you, where do you keep your Oscar? [2:25](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/2szUH9cEsFzs/en/bruce-willis-on-between-two-ferns-with-zach-galifianakis?t=145) Your Oscar s- trophy? I mean, your, uh, Blockbuster Entertainment award. [2:33](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/2szUH9cEsFzs/en/bruce-willis-on-between-two-ferns-with-zach-galifianakis?t=153) Where do you keep that? It's a great award. I look at it every day, and it reminds me of what used to be, how much fun it used to be. [2:41](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/2szUH9cEsFzs/en/bruce-willis-on-between-two-ferns-with-zach-galifianakis?t=161) Yeah, I mean, those were the good old days. [2:43](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/2szUH9cEsFzs/en/bruce-willis-on-between-two-ferns-with-zach-galifianakis?t=163) Those, the likely- The '80s. '80s, man, you could get away with anything. [2:48](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/2szUH9cEsFzs/en/bruce-willis-on-between-two-ferns-with-zach-galifianakis?t=168) Yeah. Women were much cleaner, much cleaner then. [2:53](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/2szUH9cEsFzs/en/bruce-willis-on-between-two-ferns-with-zach-galifianakis?t=173) How- Patent leather shoes and women's toenails clicking on the pavement as you go by Anthropology, and you're going to buy some candles, and it just all of a sudden you're going, "I can't get the candles today, Brenda." [3:07](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/2szUH9cEsFzs/en/bruce-willis-on-between-two-ferns-with-zach-galifianakis?t=187) Bruce, what's wrong? I mean- You'll see. It's all parties. [3:14](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/2szUH9cEsFzs/en/bruce-willis-on-between-two-ferns-with-zach-galifianakis?t=194) Getting blown up and down Hollywood Boulevard, my friend. [3:18](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/2szUH9cEsFzs/en/bruce-willis-on-between-two-ferns-with-zach-galifianakis?t=198) And then the phone stops ringing, okay? And you're gonna get to that fucking point, and you're gonna go, "Now I get it. Now I understand." [3:26](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/2szUH9cEsFzs/en/bruce-willis-on-between-two-ferns-with-zach-galifianakis?t=206) And then you're sitting in a room, and it's just you and all your cousins. [3:39](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/2szUH9cEsFzs/en/bruce-willis-on-between-two-ferns-with-zach-galifianakis?t=219) What is that? Is that a wasp? Don't move. [3:42](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/2szUH9cEsFzs/en/bruce-willis-on-between-two-ferns-with-zach-galifianakis?t=222) Where are you going? Ah! Is that a wasp? Is that a wasp? [3:50](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/2szUH9cEsFzs/en/bruce-willis-on-between-two-ferns-with-zach-galifianakis?t=230) The fire is fake. The panic is fake. The plant going up is fake. And Bruce still treats an open flame like a bug because both of them decided the dumbest possible reaction was the funniest one. [4:09](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/2szUH9cEsFzs/en/bruce-willis-on-between-two-ferns-with-zach-galifianakis?t=249) Ashton should tweet this