# Roseanne Jokes About Smoking Bans and Conspiracy Theories

- Original post: https://www.twitter.com/i/status/2099338898824630593
- Source account: [@PaulGoldEagle](https://x.com/PaulGoldEagle)
- Source language: English
- Duration: 3:14
- Published: 2026-09-14
- Canonical URL: https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DAdplIDSbYLs/en/roseanne-jokes-about-smoking-bans-and-conspiracy-theories

## Transcript

[0:03](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DAdplIDSbYLs/en/roseanne-jokes-about-smoking-bans-and-conspiracy-theories?t=3) There's your audience. I'm gonna turn you loose on them.

[0:07](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DAdplIDSbYLs/en/roseanne-jokes-about-smoking-bans-and-conspiracy-theories?t=7) Uh, do I need to get anything for you? Do you want a bigger chair?

[0:10](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DAdplIDSbYLs/en/roseanne-jokes-about-smoking-bans-and-conspiracy-theories?t=10) What do you want? Well, I'm taking that over there 'cause I gotta put this on.

[0:15](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DAdplIDSbYLs/en/roseanne-jokes-about-smoking-bans-and-conspiracy-theories?t=15) She's so cute. Well, let's bring it on stage then. Let's do it.

[0:18](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DAdplIDSbYLs/en/roseanne-jokes-about-smoking-bans-and-conspiracy-theories?t=18) Awesome. So- Yeah. Woo-hoo. Okay. Woo! You want us to-- Do you want a bigger chair?

[0:26](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DAdplIDSbYLs/en/roseanne-jokes-about-smoking-bans-and-conspiracy-theories?t=26) Yes. A recliner.

[0:31](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DAdplIDSbYLs/en/roseanne-jokes-about-smoking-bans-and-conspiracy-theories?t=31) Okay.

[0:35](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DAdplIDSbYLs/en/roseanne-jokes-about-smoking-bans-and-conspiracy-theories?t=35) I got a question. Do you see how beautiful Roseanne looks tonight?

[0:48](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DAdplIDSbYLs/en/roseanne-jokes-about-smoking-bans-and-conspiracy-theories?t=48) Okay, that's mine. I am so angry at this communist Chinese government.

[0:54](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DAdplIDSbYLs/en/roseanne-jokes-about-smoking-bans-and-conspiracy-theories?t=54) I just have to start there.

[1:01](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DAdplIDSbYLs/en/roseanne-jokes-about-smoking-bans-and-conspiracy-theories?t=61) Because they will not allow me to smoke anywhere, these bastards. I'm sick of it.

[1:20](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DAdplIDSbYLs/en/roseanne-jokes-about-smoking-bans-and-conspiracy-theories?t=80) That's how they started that communist takeover of our country, you know, with that you can't smoke.

[1:27](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DAdplIDSbYLs/en/roseanne-jokes-about-smoking-bans-and-conspiracy-theories?t=87) That is the truth. Amen. And they told everybody it was for their health, which is BS.

[1:36](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DAdplIDSbYLs/en/roseanne-jokes-about-smoking-bans-and-conspiracy-theories?t=96) They go like, "Oh, you're gonna get secondhand smoke and get cancer and everything," and then they're serving you like fried fetuses from Bill Gates' lab.

[1:47](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DAdplIDSbYLs/en/roseanne-jokes-about-smoking-bans-and-conspiracy-theories?t=107) Frigging McDonald's.

[1:52](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DAdplIDSbYLs/en/roseanne-jokes-about-smoking-bans-and-conspiracy-theories?t=112) So true. I'm telling you.

[1:58](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DAdplIDSbYLs/en/roseanne-jokes-about-smoking-bans-and-conspiracy-theories?t=118) Nothing makes any sense, does it? No. Does anything make sense to any of you people here tonight? No.

[2:05](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DAdplIDSbYLs/en/roseanne-jokes-about-smoking-bans-and-conspiracy-theories?t=125) Well, I know you're the conspiracy theory sorts.

[2:10](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DAdplIDSbYLs/en/roseanne-jokes-about-smoking-bans-and-conspiracy-theories?t=130) Is that what they're calling us? Woo! Yeah.

[2:14](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DAdplIDSbYLs/en/roseanne-jokes-about-smoking-bans-and-conspiracy-theories?t=134) Well, you can't even tell what's true by reading the news anymore.

[2:18](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DAdplIDSbYLs/en/roseanne-jokes-about-smoking-bans-and-conspiracy-theories?t=138) I don't know if we're getting invaded by Nephilim from other planets or- ... tall whites from Antarctica.

[2:28](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DAdplIDSbYLs/en/roseanne-jokes-about-smoking-bans-and-conspiracy-theories?t=148) I don't know what the hell's true. I just don't know anymore.

[2:34](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DAdplIDSbYLs/en/roseanne-jokes-about-smoking-bans-and-conspiracy-theories?t=154) But greetings, earthlings.

[2:39](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DAdplIDSbYLs/en/roseanne-jokes-about-smoking-bans-and-conspiracy-theories?t=159) Humans, clones, spirits, spies, Nephilims, watchers in the vapors, animals, all intelligent life forms, and the press.

[2:58](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DAdplIDSbYLs/en/roseanne-jokes-about-smoking-bans-and-conspiracy-theories?t=178) Hey, now. I was told there was many press people here tonight, but is there?

[3:06](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DAdplIDSbYLs/en/roseanne-jokes-about-smoking-bans-and-conspiracy-theories?t=186) Yep. There are people from the news media-