# 80-Year-Old Marty Ross Performs Stand-Up Comedy About Aging - Original post: https://www.twitter.com/i/status/2121392669695816023 - Source account: [@Sunflower15025](https://x.com/Sunflower15025) - Source language: English - Duration: 3:29 - Published: 2026-11-14 - Canonical URL: https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DP8xTdVKj0k2/en/80-year-old-marty-ross-performs-stand-up-comedy-about-aging ## Transcript [0:00](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DP8xTdVKj0k2/en/80-year-old-marty-ross-performs-stand-up-comedy-about-aging) Good evening, young man. Thank you. Thank you very much. [0:04](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DP8xTdVKj0k2/en/80-year-old-marty-ross-performs-stand-up-comedy-about-aging?t=4) You're welcome. What's your name? Marty Ross. And where are you from? [0:09](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DP8xTdVKj0k2/en/80-year-old-marty-ross-performs-stand-up-comedy-about-aging?t=9) Santa Clarita, California. Okay. What do you do for a living? [0:15](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DP8xTdVKj0k2/en/80-year-old-marty-ross-performs-stand-up-comedy-about-aging?t=15) What did I do? Okay. I was a salesman in the clothing industry for almost 50 years. [0:23](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DP8xTdVKj0k2/en/80-year-old-marty-ross-performs-stand-up-comedy-about-aging?t=23) And what is it that you're going to do? Stand-up comedy, yeah. [0:27](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DP8xTdVKj0k2/en/80-year-old-marty-ross-performs-stand-up-comedy-about-aging?t=27) Is this something you always wanted to do and then- Yeah. Why didn't you start earlier? [0:32](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DP8xTdVKj0k2/en/80-year-old-marty-ross-performs-stand-up-comedy-about-aging?t=32) Uh, here's the thing. I didn't know I could do this. [0:34](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DP8xTdVKj0k2/en/80-year-old-marty-ross-performs-stand-up-comedy-about-aging?t=34) I didn't know I, I didn't know I can stand in front of these many people and do what I do. [0:40](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DP8xTdVKj0k2/en/80-year-old-marty-ross-performs-stand-up-comedy-about-aging?t=40) Yeah. Are you married? I have three ex-wives. [0:46](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DP8xTdVKj0k2/en/80-year-old-marty-ross-performs-stand-up-comedy-about-aging?t=46) That's a routine. Yeah, right. So that means I need a million dollars, like, as soon as possible. [0:54](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DP8xTdVKj0k2/en/80-year-old-marty-ross-performs-stand-up-comedy-about-aging?t=54) Um, what would winning mean to you? Are you kidding me? [0:58](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DP8xTdVKj0k2/en/80-year-old-marty-ross-performs-stand-up-comedy-about-aging?t=58) First of all, winning at any age is incredible. [1:02](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DP8xTdVKj0k2/en/80-year-old-marty-ross-performs-stand-up-comedy-about-aging?t=62) Yeah. And your age is? How old are you? 80. What? You're 80? I'm 80. [1:07](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DP8xTdVKj0k2/en/80-year-old-marty-ross-performs-stand-up-comedy-about-aging?t=67) Oh my God. Wow. [1:10](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DP8xTdVKj0k2/en/80-year-old-marty-ross-performs-stand-up-comedy-about-aging?t=70) 80. Uh, it would mean everything to me because just the dream to be able to do this show with so many talented people is- Yeah ... is incredible. [1:20](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DP8xTdVKj0k2/en/80-year-old-marty-ross-performs-stand-up-comedy-about-aging?t=80) Good answer. [1:23](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DP8xTdVKj0k2/en/80-year-old-marty-ross-performs-stand-up-comedy-about-aging?t=83) So dazzle us with your humor and, uh, I hope we all get to witness your dream come true. [1:28](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DP8xTdVKj0k2/en/80-year-old-marty-ross-performs-stand-up-comedy-about-aging?t=88) Thank you very much. Here we go. [1:34](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DP8xTdVKj0k2/en/80-year-old-marty-ross-performs-stand-up-comedy-about-aging?t=94) So I turned 80 a few months ago, and people are saying the weirdest things to me, like, "Oh, you're 80? [1:41](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DP8xTdVKj0k2/en/80-year-old-marty-ross-performs-stand-up-comedy-about-aging?t=101) You're almost dead. Are you afraid?" I'm like, "No, I'm not afraid. [1:46](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DP8xTdVKj0k2/en/80-year-old-marty-ross-performs-stand-up-comedy-about-aging?t=106) My mother made it to 101. And if you wanna know the family secret, we don't die." [1:54](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DP8xTdVKj0k2/en/80-year-old-marty-ross-performs-stand-up-comedy-about-aging?t=114) No, we keep shrinking till we just disappear. [2:00](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DP8xTdVKj0k2/en/80-year-old-marty-ross-performs-stand-up-comedy-about-aging?t=120) Um, so I went to visit my mother in the nursing home. [2:05](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DP8xTdVKj0k2/en/80-year-old-marty-ross-performs-stand-up-comedy-about-aging?t=125) You know the problem when you go to a nursing home and you look like me? [2:09](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DP8xTdVKj0k2/en/80-year-old-marty-ross-performs-stand-up-comedy-about-aging?t=129) Yeah, they wouldn't let me out. The only reason I'm here tonight is I had to get a night pass from the front desk. [2:18](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DP8xTdVKj0k2/en/80-year-old-marty-ross-performs-stand-up-comedy-about-aging?t=138) The first thing I found out when I get old is that young people hate old people. [2:24](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DP8xTdVKj0k2/en/80-year-old-marty-ross-performs-stand-up-comedy-about-aging?t=144) Oh. Is that right? No. No. Really? Did you ever drive behind an old person? [2:33](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DP8xTdVKj0k2/en/80-year-old-marty-ross-performs-stand-up-comedy-about-aging?t=153) Yes. Does this look familiar? Yes. [2:37](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DP8xTdVKj0k2/en/80-year-old-marty-ross-performs-stand-up-comedy-about-aging?t=157) Yeah. [2:41](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DP8xTdVKj0k2/en/80-year-old-marty-ross-performs-stand-up-comedy-about-aging?t=161) The worst thing I'm experiencing now at 80 is that my hearing has gotten awful. [2:47](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DP8xTdVKj0k2/en/80-year-old-marty-ross-performs-stand-up-comedy-about-aging?t=167) I'm talking to this woman the other day, and she tells me she has a peanut allergy. [2:54](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DP8xTdVKj0k2/en/80-year-old-marty-ross-performs-stand-up-comedy-about-aging?t=174) Right, I misheard the word. [2:59](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DP8xTdVKj0k2/en/80-year-old-marty-ross-performs-stand-up-comedy-about-aging?t=179) I said, "What happens?" She said, "I start choking and gagging." [3:06](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DP8xTdVKj0k2/en/80-year-old-marty-ross-performs-stand-up-comedy-about-aging?t=186) Oh, whoa. I said, "What did your doctor say?" [3:11](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DP8xTdVKj0k2/en/80-year-old-marty-ross-performs-stand-up-comedy-about-aging?t=191) She said, "My doctor said I have to build up a tolerance." [3:17](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DP8xTdVKj0k2/en/80-year-old-marty-ross-performs-stand-up-comedy-about-aging?t=197) So naturally, I said, "Well, then I'm your man." [3:22](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/DP8xTdVKj0k2/en/80-year-old-marty-ross-performs-stand-up-comedy-about-aging?t=202) Thank you. Thank you so much. Wow. Thanks.