# Mykola and the Draft Notice: A Satirical Monologue on Russian Identity

- Original post: https://www.twitter.com/i/status/2118283746533405100
- Source account: [@\_Kehmanyestki\_](https://x.com/_Kehmanyestki_)
- Source language: Russian
- Target language: English
- Duration: 1:03
- Published: 2026-11-05
- Machine translated. Check the original before quoting.
- Canonical URL: https://www.translate.mom/transcript/JpW0HgmMq7OZ/en/mykola-and-the-draft-notice-a-satirical-monologue-on-russian-identity
- Original-language version: https://www.translate.mom/transcript/JpW0HgmMq7OZ/ru/%D0%BC%D0%B8%D0%BA%D0%BE%D0%BB%D0%B0-%D0%B8-%D0%BF%D0%BE%D0%B2%D0%B5%D1%81%D1%82%D0%BA%D0%B0-%D1%81%D0%B0%D1%82%D0%B8%D1%80%D0%B8%D1%87%D0%B5%D1%81%D0%BA%D0%B8%D0%B9-%D0%BC%D0%BE%D0%BD%D0%BE%D0%BB%D0%BE%D0%B3-%D0%BE-%D1%80%D1%83%D1%81%D1%81%D0%BA%D0%BE%D0%B9-%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BD%D1%82%D0%B8%D1%87%D0%BD%D0%BE%D1%81%D1%82%D0%B8.md

## Transcript

[0:00](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/JpW0HgmMq7OZ/en/mykola-and-the-draft-notice-a-satirical-monologue-on-russian-identity) Let's go. One day, Mykola was in his kitchen cutting up some salo with a knife.

[0:10](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/JpW0HgmMq7OZ/en/mykola-and-the-draft-notice-a-satirical-monologue-on-russian-identity?t=10) And Mother Ukraine told Mykola: “Serve,” and sent him a draft notice.

[0:17](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/JpW0HgmMq7OZ/en/mykola-and-the-draft-notice-a-satirical-monologue-on-russian-identity?t=17) And right away, the passage in Mykola’s asshole got fucked and became very narrow.

[0:24](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/JpW0HgmMq7OZ/en/mykola-and-the-draft-notice-a-satirical-monologue-on-russian-identity?t=24) Mykola figured out what was what, and immediately started shouting: “I’m Russian and I always have been.

[0:37](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/JpW0HgmMq7OZ/en/mykola-and-the-draft-notice-a-satirical-monologue-on-russian-identity?t=37) I’m Russian, Crimea is Russia.

[0:44](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/JpW0HgmMq7OZ/en/mykola-and-the-draft-notice-a-satirical-monologue-on-russian-identity?t=44) I’m Russian, to spite all the Banderites.

[0:51](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/JpW0HgmMq7OZ/en/mykola-and-the-draft-notice-a-satirical-monologue-on-russian-identity?t=51) I’m Russian, and Zelensky is a dickhead.”