# A Gossiping Priest Hears a Confession of Infidelity

- Original post: https://www.twitter.com/i/status/2117661182916173826
- Source account: [@ryanlongcomedy](https://x.com/ryanlongcomedy)
- Source language: English
- Duration: 1:32
- Published: 2026-11-03
- Canonical URL: https://www.translate.mom/transcript/hA5TBFF5xXgM/en/a-gossiping-priest-hears-a-confession-of-infidelity

## Transcript

[0:00](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/hA5TBFF5xXgM/en/a-gossiping-priest-hears-a-confession-of-infidelity) Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I've found myself attracted to the wife of a close friend.

[0:05](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/hA5TBFF5xXgM/en/a-gossiping-priest-hears-a-confession-of-infidelity?t=5) Oh my God, no way. What? Spill the tea if you want absolution. I mean...

[0:10](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/hA5TBFF5xXgM/en/a-gossiping-priest-hears-a-confession-of-infidelity?t=10) Um, my friend Jeff. Jeff Davies? You have the hots for Jessica Davies?

[0:15](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/hA5TBFF5xXgM/en/a-gossiping-priest-hears-a-confession-of-infidelity?t=15) And in a moment of weakness, I told her.

[0:19](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/hA5TBFF5xXgM/en/a-gossiping-priest-hears-a-confession-of-infidelity?t=19) You told her? Holy sh- What did she say?

[0:23](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/hA5TBFF5xXgM/en/a-gossiping-priest-hears-a-confession-of-infidelity?t=23) She actually told me she felt the same way.

[0:26](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/hA5TBFF5xXgM/en/a-gossiping-priest-hears-a-confession-of-infidelity?t=26) Shut the up. Oh my God. Should you be swearing?

[0:28](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/hA5TBFF5xXgM/en/a-gossiping-priest-hears-a-confession-of-infidelity?t=28) Shh. What did she say? I don't know. It doesn't matter.

[0:30](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/hA5TBFF5xXgM/en/a-gossiping-priest-hears-a-confession-of-infidelity?t=30) Uh, it does matter. I need every last detail, unless you wanna burn in hell.

[0:35](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/hA5TBFF5xXgM/en/a-gossiping-priest-hears-a-confession-of-infidelity?t=35) I was dropping the kids off at soccer and... Wait, are you texting?

[0:38](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/hA5TBFF5xXgM/en/a-gossiping-priest-hears-a-confession-of-infidelity?t=38) What? No, no, no, continue. It feels like you're texting.

[0:41](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/hA5TBFF5xXgM/en/a-gossiping-priest-hears-a-confession-of-infidelity?t=41) Can you cancel the rest of my priest meetings for the rest of the day?

[0:44](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/hA5TBFF5xXgM/en/a-gossiping-priest-hears-a-confession-of-infidelity?t=44) And call me later. I have major tea. Who are you talking to in there?

[0:48](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/hA5TBFF5xXgM/en/a-gossiping-priest-hears-a-confession-of-infidelity?t=48) I'm just talking to God. Um, does your wife know?

[0:51](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/hA5TBFF5xXgM/en/a-gossiping-priest-hears-a-confession-of-infidelity?t=51) I'm afraid that is not my only secret. Tell me now.

[0:55](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/hA5TBFF5xXgM/en/a-gossiping-priest-hears-a-confession-of-infidelity?t=55) Well, one of the reasons my eye has been wandering is my child was conceived by another man.

[1:00](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/hA5TBFF5xXgM/en/a-gossiping-priest-hears-a-confession-of-infidelity?t=60) With who? With who? With who? Are you sure this is confidential?

[1:03](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/hA5TBFF5xXgM/en/a-gossiping-priest-hears-a-confession-of-infidelity?t=63) Yes, yes, yes, yes, on the vault. No details.

[1:05](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/hA5TBFF5xXgM/en/a-gossiping-priest-hears-a-confession-of-infidelity?t=65) My wife had a brief affair with Derek Johnson.

[1:09](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/hA5TBFF5xXgM/en/a-gossiping-priest-hears-a-confession-of-infidelity?t=69) The janitor So are we gonna do the procedure and the Hail Marys or?

[1:14](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/hA5TBFF5xXgM/en/a-gossiping-priest-hears-a-confession-of-infidelity?t=74) When's your wife's birthday? Um, May 25th.

[1:16](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/hA5TBFF5xXgM/en/a-gossiping-priest-hears-a-confession-of-infidelity?t=76) Ah, a Gemini. I knew it. Of course it is.

[1:19](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/hA5TBFF5xXgM/en/a-gossiping-priest-hears-a-confession-of-infidelity?t=79) What? So are you and Jessica Davies gonna do it or what?

[1:22](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/hA5TBFF5xXgM/en/a-gossiping-priest-hears-a-confession-of-infidelity?t=82) If God must know, we already did. Oh my God. Okay, I'm gonna be right back.

[1:27](https://www.translate.mom/transcript/hA5TBFF5xXgM/en/a-gossiping-priest-hears-a-confession-of-infidelity?t=87) Do 25 Hail Marys and don't move or else God's gonna be angry.