Swahili → English transcript

Weird things I've ever done in my marriage. Hehe.

So, it was on a Saturday.

The old man told me,“ Mama, today when I leave work, I’m working half day.

When I leave work I’m going to a meeting.”

I asked him,“ What meeting is on a Saturday?”

He told me,“ I’ve told you I’m going to a meeting, I don’t want questions.”

Ai! I said,“ This man doesn’t know me.”

“ That meeting, why don’t we go together?” He told me,“ Uh- uh, women don’t go.”

I said,“ Really?”“ Yeah.”“ Okay, fine.

So what time did you say you’re leaving?”

He told me,“ Around one o’clock I’ll be leaving, then I’ll go,

I’ll go get the car washed then go to the meeting.” I told him,“ Okay, fine.”

“ So that meeting ends at what time?” He told me,“ I don’t know.”

I told him,“ Fine.” I left him, he left. Like, he left, he went to work.

So I knew by one he would be leaving work.

I went. I arrived… Now usually cars have two pairs of keys.

So I got there and I found, eh,

the car is there in the parking lot.

Chui chui! I got in. The car is an Ipsum. An Ipsum is a seven seater.

So the back seats,

the ones in the boot, are raised up.

I went chui chui, I got in.

Now here in the middle between these seats…

these back seats and the middle seats. I squeezed myself in there. Man!

Talk about being roasted by the sun, like in an oven.

You know when a car is parked out in the sun. Like an oven.

I am there, all the windows are closed. There is nowhere even to breathe from.

I sat there, I sat peeking out, I sat peeking out. Eh, when I saw him coming.

Now it got to one o’clock. He left the office,

there was another guy who calls him uncle. He left the office,

they came and chatted there.

They chatted, I do not know what they were talking about because I could not hear.

They chatted for a while, then bam! They got into the car.

They do not know I am in there. Man, I have been sweating.

At least I got some relief when they got in, they rolled down the windows.

They do not know I am there. I heard them say, now let us go first, I will…

we will go eat.

Let us grill some meat there at Railways, let us eat.

Then we will sit and really chat there, you know, like in the old days.

All right, all right.

Bam! They rolled down the windows, at least I got some cool air.

Whew! All the way to Railways.

The place called Railways is where people eat meat.

He said, let me leave this car here to be washed,

while we grill some meat here. All right, all right. Now there were things he wanted

to do there in the trunk. Eh, I think he wanted to

make sure everything was fine before he handed over the car to be washed.

Oh man! When he opened the trunk...

He said... there were some things back there on that back seat. So he wanted to

arrange the work stuff properly. Ai! He opened it and looked.

Now I said to myself, now here,

I do not know, there is nothing to hide here. Now here I have been seen.

He lifted the seat... he lifted the trunk like this. He found me there and told me,

mama, how did you get here? I kept quiet. I knew now even here what will I answer.

He told me, ah, get out then let us go eat meat.

Ai! I got out. I feel embarrassed.

I mean I feel so ashamed.

I got out. We went and we ate. He does not ask me.

How it happened until he left me at home and found me in the trunk.

He does not ask me. We ate meat, we finished. He told that young man, ah, your aunt

here has come. You do not tell her. Even he is ashamed too,

that I was found in the trunk, am I a load?

Even he does not know how he will explain it. So we greeted each other there,

they finished having the car washed, he got in. He told me, now mama,

where should I drop you?

I asked him,“ Where did I tell you to drop me?” Let’s just go.

He told me,“ I told you I am not going, you are the one going.”

I asked him,“ Where is that meeting?” He told me,“ It is in Mtwapa.”

I told him,“ All right then, drop me there by the roadside.”

That is how I went back home. I did not go to that meeting. Let me tell you,

marriages have their issues.

I mean relationships have issues. That is how he went alone,

and that is how I went back home. I went and cooked supper, I relaxed and waited for

him at home. In the end he came.

We will wait for them here at home.

We cannot chase each other around. I mean, I have already raised…

I mean I… I cannot.

All those hours I was in the trunk, I got burned by the heat,

I suffered for nothing. I did not go to that meeting. Yeah. But at least I ate meat,

I ate some lunch. What do I tell you ladies?

We cannot keep chasing after these people.

We can't compete with an elephant taking a dump, huh? News, that's it.

I sat in the booth like in an oven. How many hours? Two hours. I burned.

I burned. I burned.

Heh. Anyway.