Michael Jordan’s The Last Dance Parody: Quarters With His Security Guard

"The Bulls: The Last Dance" aired on ESPN, and even

though it was 10 hours long, there was so much left on the cutting room

floor. So tonight, I'd like to share an extended scene that I

think really speaks to what made Michael Jordan such a

great competitor. Enjoy.

Game five, Bulls/Suns. Tip-off is in two hours.

I am, uh, I'm playing quarters on the wall with my

head of security,

John here. John, say hi. Go ahead, do it.

Oh, well, I'm ready for my close-up .

So whoever gets the quarter closest to the wall wins.

I'm about to take $5 off of him.

No.

So watch this.

Okay, we'll see.

Watch this.

All right, we'll see.

Here we go.

Okay.

Oh.

Okay.

How about I take that from you? Oh

I win.

All right.

Well, he won. You know, I was happy for him.

But, uh, he did that little shrug,

and I took that personally.

Again.

Oh, okay. I think I got another five spot on me.

$1,000 this time. Here we go.

Oh, come on, man. I don't carry that kind of, uh, what the kids call it?

Cheese.

I'll, I'll spot you. I'll spot you.

Oh, no.

Oh .

That is financially rough for me

. The wife's not gonna like that .

See, with Michael, he had to win. That's what made him great.

Oh.

I mean, he's about to play for an NBA title,

and here he is taking a

little locker room game just as seriously.

Just an amazing competitor.

Well, how much money you owe me now?

Uh, 9,000.

Oh, that's nothing, man. You can make that in a day.

I can't.

You can.

I-

Uh oh. There he is.

The enemy.

All right, Charles Barkley.

What's up, MJ? How y'all doing? Oh, what y'all playing?

Quarters against the wall?

Yep.

Man, I love that game. Let me play. What you say about 5,000 a throw?

Okay, well you two have fun, 'cause I-

No, no, no, John's staying. Come on, man.

Yo, yo, come on

... you wanna join?

Well, I don't make that kind of money .

Well, bet your pants then.

It's not gonna look great if I lose my pants, but,

uh, well, I mean, it's the dream team.

There we go. All right.

Ooh, look at these pleats.

All right.

That's a sharp pleat, man.

All right, come on. They wouldn't even fit you, man. Come on.

Let me win 'em back.

Okay, let's go. You wanna win 'em back?

Yeah, for the pants.

Oh.

Yeah, you tripping, man.

Oh.

Okay.

The thing about Mike is he didn't wanna just beat you.

He wanted to dominate you.

Oh, John.

Come on.

Uh, John, I think you owe me your gun.

It's loaded.

My what?

It's loaded.

It's what?

He wanted to embarrass you.

It was the bet. You said you'd show it.

Oh .

You know what? Maybe if I was seven feet tall,

mine would look like yours.

All right? But you know what? Hey, it's a story I can tell my

grandkids I showed MJ my . Let's go again.

If you're not playing to win, why play?

You hustling me, MJ.

Hustling you?

You know what? I'ma settle this on the court.

Okay. Uh, Chuck, I'm gonna whoop your ass, man.

Hey, John, give me those glasses.

Oh, I really need them, Mike. I'm security.

I gotta be able to see, man.

A bet's a bet. A bet's a bet. A bet's a bet.

You're right. He's right

Okay, cool. All right.

I'd never throw quarters at a wall with Jordan. Wouldn't, I wouldn't do it.

John.

Where, where'd he go?

I lost everything once.

Okay, one more time. Let's go, let's go. Come on.

Man, I got nothing left.

A night with your wife.

No, no. That's too far. All right, let's go.

Okay.

Come on.

Here we go. All right, come on.

Don't be like that, because it's just one night, and he's...

Hello?

Oh, well, okay. Well, she hung up, so it's official.

I'm in the doghouse.

John, let's go. Come on, come on. One more. One more. Let's go.

Mike, I gotta say no.

If you win, I'm gonna give you everything back.

You're gonna get your ring, you're gonna get your gun,

you're gonna get your pants,

everything. Come on.

And what do you get?

What do I get?

Your hair.

You have a problem