Transcript · Catalan → English
Catalan → English transcript
Welcome, Anthony Gordon. From now on, Toni.
First of all, welcome to Barça.
At your presentation, I saw that you understood quite well
what this club is about, you already seem like a nice guy,
with that face of an altar boy who gets motion sickness on the bus,
and it looks like we'll have a great time playing football with you.
That being said, Toni, I haven't warned you yet,
but I've already issued you your Maulets membership card,
I've signed you up for the tenants' union
and I've signed you up for Tsunami Democràtic,
the latter more as a joke, because if you don't run…
I'll get you a QR code to send you to the airport.
I saw that you already said you're very happy, and you said it in Catalan,
seems like a good start, but, mate, you're not Flick.
In two days, I want to see you reading Tirant lo Blanc,
reciting the Homilies of winning and watching Plats Bruts.
This thing so many people do, watching Merlí, I'm sorry,
but we're not into 60-year-old philosophy teachers here
who hook up with 30-year-old teachers.
I'm so sorry, but there's this thing called power dynamics,
my friend, you have to learn about this,
so, Plats Bruts, dirty dishes, OK?
In some ways I feel bad,
but I won't be the one to cancel everything over a tank on the beach
and Ramon looking at young ladies.
Anyway, Toni, welcome to Barça.
If you need more help,
I'll introduce you to the reception class monitor, whose name is Andrés.
He's a very nice guy,
but be careful when you greet him, don't shake his hand too hard,
because you might break two of his fingers.
One day I whispered hello to him like this,
and his ear fell to the ground,
he tripped over his ear and almost broke his neck.
Welcome to Barça, Toni,
and remember that just saying Visca Catalunya is not enough,
you're missing one word.
End of transcript · 336 words · machine translated
Original transcript (Catalan)
Benvolgut, Anthony Gordon. Ara, endavant, en Toni. Primer de tot, benvingut al Barça. A la teva presentació he vist que has entès bastant bé de què va aquest club, ja sembles bon jan, amb aquesta cara d'escolonet que està marejat a l'autobús,
i que pinta que amb tu ens ho passarem molt bé jugant a futbol. Dit això, Toni, no t'he avisat encara, però ja t'he expedit el carnet de maulets, t'he afiliat al sindicat de llogateres i t'he apuntat a Tsunami Democràtic,
això últim més en pla broma, perquè si no corres... et trauré un QR per enviar-te a l'aeroport. He vist que ja has dit que estàs molt feliç, i ho has dit en català, em sembla un bon inici, però, nano, tu no ets en flic. Tu, en dos dies, et vull llegir en tirant-lo blanc,
recitant les homílies del guanyar i mirant plats bruts. Això que fan tants de mirar merlí, ho sento, però aquí no som de professors de filosofia de 60 anys que s'ho munten amb professors de 30. I'm so sorry, però hi ha una cosa que se'n diu en relacions de poder,
my friend, you have to learn about this, per tant, plats bruts, dirty dishes, ok? En alguns sentits em veig malament, però no seré jo qui ho cancel·li tot per un tanc a la platja i en Ramon mirant senyoretes.
En fi, Toni, sigues benvingut al Barça. Si necessites més ajuda, et presentaré el monitor de l'aula d'acollida, que es diu Andrés. És un nano molt maco, però compte quan el saludis no li donis la mà molt fort,
perquè potser li trenques dos dits. Un dia li vaig dir hola així a cau d'orella, i li va caure l'orella a terra, amb l'orella es va entrebancar i gairebé se'm desnuca. Sigues benvingut al Barça, Toni,
i recorda que només dient Visca Catalunya no n'hi ha prou, et falta una paraula.
