School Lessons on Patriotism and Family

Hooray! I finally made it to school. God, how I want to

finally gain new knowledge and study different subjects.

God, I'm so excited. What's our first lesson after

the holidays?

This isn't our first lesson now, it's— we came early so we could

listen to the anthem and march. Why?

I'd rather sleep if I could... Patriotism.

Oh, I see. Well, it'll probably be over quickly.

And what's the next lesson? Well, after we listen to the anthem,

we'll have Talks About Important Things. And what will we talk about there?

Some

scientists? No, we'll talk about a woman who gave birth to

22 children. Why? So that someday you'll give birth to

22 children too. Is that all, or will there be anything else

in that lesson? Yes, an SVO veteran will visit us. Uh, why?

Patriotism. All right, it’s not so bad, we’ll put up with it.

And what’s the second lesson? Family studies.

And what will we study there? How to give birth to 22

children. Wait a second. Why would I even have to give birth to 22

children?

Traditional values. All right, then there’ll be recess,

we’ll get a break from these lessons, and then there’ll be some cool classes.

No, during recess, they’ll take all of us to the assembly hall

and show us how

an abortion is done. And why? So we don’t

have an abortion with our 22 po-po-potential children.

All right. Then comes math? No,

then comes history. Oh, history! Finally, something

interesting. Yeah?

Yeah, we’ll study the special military operation.

But not much time has passed yet. The event isn’t even over.

Are they really studying it? I don’t think historians do that.

Patriotism