Chinese → English transcript

The biggest gamble in life is marriage.

In Buddhist thought it is called…

Marriage is nothing more than a 瞬间 的 arising from conditions.

So we call it“ marital karma”( yinyuan).

Marriage is a kind of karmic bond.

This bond is not a rational choice,

nor a choice whose future can be preset.

Many people today go wrong right here.

They insist on finding someone both handsome and good at making money,

all preset conditions.

This is called a principle of certainty, not a principle of dependent arising.

Marriage is something that arises from conditions. So with this kind of principle,

you might meet a good one, or you might meet a bad one. It is like a gamble.

So the biggest gamble in life is marriage,

because it is extremely uncertain. This is the essence of marriage.

There is also another principle of marriage in the middle of this: mutual influence.

When you influence each other, two people can grow together,

and life becomes easier and easier. More and more at ease.

But if the two of you always negate each other with a mindset of right and wrong,

fighting all day long… Never reflecting, never encouraging each other,

then your life together definitely will not last.

Many families in real life are exactly like this.

This is the process of mutual influence.

Therefore, we cannot say that if you married a man who at first is lazy,

unambitious, you then assume he will always be like this. That would violate a

principle we just discussed. Everyone can become a Buddha,

everyone can become a Yao or Shun. People can change.

This logic of changeability is very important. So across a person’s life,

many changes will happen.

We need to set up the question of what is possible in the future.

If you do not preset any possibilities for his future,

and at the moment you have no methods or means,

then the marriage of you two will remain in this current state, with nothing good.

So we say, when poor, one thinks of change.

Once things reach a certain point, you must both work hard, encourage each other,

and change the environment of the family. This is a matter of principle.

If you only want others to change while you do not,

I think that is a state of non- reflection.

There is a very important saying:

a woman’s arms must not be empty,

and a man’s heart must not be empty.

A man’s heart must not be empty means he must have aspirations and a sense of

responsibility.

A woman’s arms must not be empty means having children and a husband,

so that in her world she has someone to rely on. This is the principle.