English transcript

What college do you guys go to?

UTC.

FAU.

Sacred Heart University.

Ohio State.

Spring Break 2026.

What is the game plan?

Drinking.

Blackout with my rock out.

If my mom is watching, I'm sorry, mom.

But I've been getting pretty drunk almost every day.

Hook up with some girls.

Get with as many girls as we can.

And not come back with a STD.

Wake out with one person each night.

That's it.

How many guys have you made out with this week?

I've been here for about 10 days.

So 10.

What were their names?

I don't remember.

Name one.

Name me one.

Name me one.

What is the craziest thing you've seen at Spring Break?

Not that crazy.

I've seen people do like cocaine off of boobs.

I saw a girl like black out on the street.

That was pretty exciting.

Sunday mimosa drag races.

You see that guy take his pants off in the middle of the club?

There's a lot of famous people down here.

Have you seen Johnny Belisario?

What?

Never mind.

OK.

What is the wildest thing you've done down here?

Got with somebody the first night that I came down here.

Pole dancing.

I had to do this two days ago.

Stripping naked, getting in the water.

You got to say.

You got to say.

What'd you do?

You went something crazy.

On a strip.

Honestly.

All right, on the strip.

No, we had this.

OK, that went in public.

But yeah, OK.

What issue facing America is the most important to you?

What bikini I'm going to wear next.

Obesity is terrible.

Ice.

Not personally.

I'm legal.

Getting a tan on the beach.

That's the most important thing in my life right now.

I'm thinking about Starbucks, to be honest.

I'm thinking about Starbucks.

What I'm going to get for today.

The elevators don't work.

You got 43 floors.

The elevators don't work.

I could take this little glass of water, drop it in the magnets.

That's the end of the elevator.

What have you heard that Donald Trump has been doing recently?

Gulf of America.

That's the last thing I kept up with.

We're going to war with Iraq.

That's been crazy.

What do you do in Columbia?

You got Maduro out?

I don't f*** with Trump, but that s*** ain't s*** done.

He's like trying to sue those people for making jokes about him.

600 times!

You must be happy.

I'm very happy.

The Ayatollah's dead.

What?

Who?

What?

What is that?

Who the f*** is Ayatollah?

I've never heard that word in my life.

Lewis, what's Ayatollah?

I haven't heard.

I found out about Chuck Norris yesterday.

That was more devastating to me.

He was the supreme leader of Iran.

He's dead?

Damn it.

We killed him.

You did?

You killed him?

Johnny!

Whoa!

If you were in charge, how would you take on Iran?

Get all my girls and we would all start putting belted s*** on them.

We get a bunch of girls in bikinis, we make them run across the battlefield.

All the guys are distracted.

We all run in.

Look him in his eyes, I guess.

Flirt with him.

I'd blow him up.

I don't know enough about it, but I would probably wipe it out.

Drop a bomb, baby.

Bomb the s*** out of him.

I would bomb the s*** out of him.

What have you heard about Venezuela?

Venezuela?

Nothing.

I'm not sure.

I barely know what's going on in Tennessee, where I'm from.

That they beat us in the World Baseball Classic.

Have you heard anything else?

No.

Nothing.

I have heard nothing about Venezuela.

You know, honestly, I don't know and I don't care.

Where is Venezuela?

I don't know.

I'm drunk.

I really don't know.

Venezuela?

Isn't that in Spain?

No.

Go easy on the tequila.

What do you want to tell Jesse Watters?

You're on his show.

That's the guy who was eating the steak, remember?

It was like in front of the vegan guy.

Oh, f*** Jesse Watters.

Do you know who I am?

I do not.

Here's Johnny.

Hi, Johnny.