Transcript · Hindi → English
Comedy Show with Kunal Kamra
Bro, is this another mask?
Cut that into this too.
Brothers and sisters!
Oh-ho.
My dear fellow citizens!
I like that.
At midnight tonight.
There is no need to panic or be afraid. This is the time
Did you get scared?
I know that.
I know whether Season 3 is wanted or not.
I was thinking
that we are no longer friends.
Not even friends anymore.
Now we are friends.
Yes, now you can ask anything, man.
So, Modi-iiiii ji.
I know it'll get
cut.
You must get scared too, right?
Do you get scared or not?
Everyone gets scared, my dear. Everyone's throat goes dry too.
If someone had brought him in holding him.
What's bothering this gentleman, bro?
Oh-ho, what's the scene
at your tea stall? What?
Mine is generous too.
Where is this VIP, then?
Oh, my man!
I'm very, very scared, Modi ji. All this will end up
on the internet again.
Look—
The habit will break again.
Look, whatever breaks, my dear,
mends even faster than that. You are a real example, my dear.
Still alive.
You are still alive.
Mr. Modi, I have a friend. He wants to speak
to you.
I want to give feedback.
Kunal—
Who is this?
Kunal Kamra.
What nonsense!
This is the same Kamra who had it broken, right?
Yes. He speaks in the third booth.
Do this now. Mr. Kamra, is this really live?
The rupee has fallen.
But it's okay, brothers. If the rupee has fallen, then I'm
the one who will pick it up too.
Nothing like that is going to happen. It's all, keep dogs, keep cats, keep Brahmand.
Keep Brahmand.
What, did you swallow WhatsApp's two columns?
Brother, this is your kind. Kamra, what do you do, comedy?
Kamra, come on, my friend. Yes, sir, listen to me now. Now...
How does it feel on your head, man? How does it feel on your head now?
Has it come or not?
Brother
I want you to meet one more guy, MC, MC Stan.
I really love MC Stan, actually.
But why is he sitting here wearing a mask?
Like, what disease is he going to contract?
Sense of humor.
Bro, can we include all this?
Of course.
All right, bro, see you at the Cyber Cell.
Give it up for Kunal Kamra.
MC Stan, you're very quiet, man.
What's up, ma'am?
What's up, ma'am? Everything all right, my dear?
A kiss for you, bro.
Love you, man, love you.
Love you, my brother.
All right, man, a big round of applause for Modi ji.
Thank you so much, sir. Let's start scoring now.
One minute, one minute, just one minute.
To this day,
I have never
lost
an election.
I've won by the highest margins, brothers and sisters.
If I lose today,
the friendship Samay and I have had for so long...
Do you want Personal Question Season 3 or not?
Do you want it or not?
Do you want it or not?
Yes, I do.
That's it, my dear. You can score now.
Let's start with Madhav Virli. Ten out of ten, brother.
Sir, ten out of ten, sir. Ten out of ten.
It means a lot, Bala.
Thank you so much, sir.
Sir, ten out of ten.
Tanmay, my dear! We can react on the same panel.
Live. Call me sometime.
Okay, sir.
Yes,
my childhood friend.
Ten, brother.
Thank you, my dear. I love you so much.
So, Rahil, brother, I give you ten out of ten. What great mimicry, man. So great!
Thank you so much.
That makes your average ten out of ten.
Wow, what a scene!
Just a minute.
You win an AI Plus phone.
Thank you very much. This phone is the AI Nova.
After the show, I'll leave for Goa too.
You're on District too.
End of transcript · 642 words · machine translated
Original transcript (Hindi)
भाई ये और एक है क्या mask? उसको भी cut दे लो इसमें। भाइयों बहनों! ओहो। मेरे प्यारे देशवासियों!
I like that. आज रात बारह बजे। घबराने और डरने की जरूरत नहीं है जी। ये समय डर गया क्या? I know that.
I know Season 3 चाहिए कि नहीं चाहिए। मैं यह विचार कर रहा था कि अब हम मित्रों नहीं रहे। मित्र भी नहीं रहे। अब हम friend हैं।
Yes, now you can ask anything man. तो मोदी ओ-ओ-ओड़ी जी। मुझे पता है cut हो जाएगा। डर तो तुझे भी लगता होगा ना?
लगता होगा कि नहीं लगता होगा? डर सबको लगता है मेरी जान। गला सबका सूखता है। अगर कोई पकड़ के लाए थे तो। इस सज्जन को क्या तकलीफ है भाई? ओए होए क्या सीन है
तेरे चाय की टपरी पे। क्या? मेरा आप भी उदार है। ये, ये, ये विपट कहां है क्या? Oh my man! मुझे बहुत, मुझे बहुत डर लग रहा है मोदी जी। ये सब आएगा
internet पे फिर। देखो- Habit again दोबारा टूटेगा। देखो जो चीज टूटती है ना मेरी जान, वो उससे भी ज्यादा तेजी से जुड़ जाती है। You are real example मेरी जान।
Still alive. You are still alive. मोदी जी, मेरे एक मित्र हैं। वो आपसे बात करना चाहते हैं। Feedback देना चाहता हूं मैं।
Kunal- Who is this? Kunal Kamra. What nonsense! ये वही Kamra है ना जिसने तुड़वा दिया था।
हां। Third booth में बोलता है। कर लो ये अभी। Kamra जी, is this real live? रुपया गिर गया। But कोई बात नहीं भाइयों। अगर रुपया गिरा है ना, इसको उठाने वाला भी मैं हूं।
ऐसा कुछ नहीं होने वाला है। ये सब कुत्ता पालो, बिल्ली पालो, ब्रह्मद पालो। ये क्या WhatsApp का 2 column खा लिया था? भाई ये तेरा वाला है। Kamra क्या करता है तू comedy? Kamra, come on my friend. हां sir सुनो मेरी बात अभी। अभी
सर पे कैसा है यार? अभी सर पे कैसा है? आया कि नहीं आया? भाई I want you to meet one more guy MC, MC Stan. I really love MC Stan actually.
पर ये यहां पे mask पहन के क्यों बैठा है? Like what is the disease he is going to contract like? Sense of humor. भाई ये सब डाल सकते हैं हम? Of course.
ठीक है भाई मिलते हैं फिर Cyber cell में। Give it up for Kunal Kamra. MC Stan बड़े खामोश हो आप यार। क्या बोलते ma'am? क्या बोलते ma'am? All right ना मेरी जान।
पुप्पी है भाई तुझे। Love you यार love you. Love you मेरे भाई। ठीक है यार एक बार जोरदार तालियां मोदी जी के लिए यार। Thank you so much sir जी। अभी scoring करते हैं।
एक minute, एक minute, just one minute. आज तक मैं कभी कोई चुनाव नहीं हारा हूं।
सर्वोच्च अंकों से जीता हूं भाइयों बहनों। अगर आज मैं हार गया ना, समय की जो और मेरी दोस्ती इतनी देर से है। Personal question Season 3 चाहिए कि नहीं चाहिए? चाहिए कि नहीं चाहिए?
चाहिए कि नहीं चाहिए? चाहिए, चाहिए। That's it my मेरे जान। You can score now. Let's start from Madhav Virli. 10 out of 10 brother. Sir 10 on 10 sir, 10 on 10.
It means a lot बाला। Thank you so much, sir. Sir 10 on 10. तन्मय मेरी जान! We can react same panel live। मुझे बुलाना एक बार।
ठीक है sir. Yes, my childhood friend. 10 ही भाई। Thank you मेरी जान। I love you so much.
तो Rahil भाई I give you 10 on 10. What a great mimicry यार what a great! Thank you so much. That makes your average 10 on 10. वाह क्या सीन है! Just a minute.
आप जीते AI plus phone. बहुत-बहुत धन्यवाद। यह phone है AI Nova। Show के बाद मैं भी निकल जाऊंगा Goa। District पे भी आप।
