English transcript

Hello, good afternoon. Fine afternoon. Hello,

good afternoon. Fine afternoon. Please, is this

Mr. Shaggy?

Yeah. Okay. Congratulations. You people have

won an award and I've been trying to call you.

Your number wasn't going through but I've been

able to talk to your friend, Ayuba. What?

Eh?

Okay. So you guys won an iPhone 17 Pro Max,

a toilet roll, and then a Dettol. Ah. So we

will need you to come to the office then you

take yours... ...because Ayuba left the toilet

roll and then the Dettol for you. He has taken

the iPhone. So he said you will come and you

take the Dettol and then the toilet roll. Who?

Who?

Hello?

I say who come there come take the phone?

Who... who come take the phone?

Your colleague. Your colleague, Ayuba. He...

he was here. Why... why... why you give am the

phone?

Why you take the phone give am?

Hello?

Please relax. Calm down. No, I say why you take

the phone... So right now nu... Right now, you

take the phone give my friend. Wey you leave

the toilet roll and the Dettol. I should come

and take am go and do what again?

Eh?

Madam. You... you say we win eh promotion. We

win promotion. iPhone and Dettol and eh toilet

roll. So right now nu, me... eh my friend Ayuba

come take the phone right now. You are calling

me to come and take the toilet roll and the

Dettol. I should go and take it and do what?

What do you... Ni kike so in je in yi da toilet

roll da Dettol?

Ya kike yi haka ne?

Hello, please. Calm down. So your friend came

here and then he took the 17 Pro Max... ...and

he left the toilet roll and the Dettol for you.

So Madam, right now... right now I'm telling

you... Kai!

Ya riga ya... You my friend come there. Abokin

nawa ya zo wurin... ...iPhone 17 Pro Max kun

sa a hannunshi. Kun bar mani Dettol da toilet

roll. Me zan yi da shi?

ce muku ina tafiya ina kashi jiki ne?

I'm... I'm walking, I'm shitting inside my...

my body?

I dey shit inside my body?

You go leave the toilet roll and the Dettol

give me?

Is how?

Sorry, I'm... I'm sorry about that but you need

to come and sign our documents. We are waiting

for you. I should come and sign... I should

come and take toilet roll and sign?

I should take car and come to your place for...

eh... where... where... ...where koraa your

shop dey?

Oh Allah. Where your shop dey?

We are on the Ring Road. I should take car and

come there come take toilet roll?

Ki ba ki da lafiya. I should come and take toilet

roll?

Wani shegan takaici ne. Ayuba ya je wurin ya

jajja karbi wayar nan. Ku zo ku ce mani kama...

eh ku kwashe mani... Dettol da toilet roll.

So I should come and take and go and do what?

I should... I should take and go and do what?

Don Allah. Wani bala'i kuke ga?

I should come and take and go and do what with

the toilet roll?

Me I'm a Muslim man o. Me I'm a Muslim. I'm

a Muslim. I go toilet... We need you... We need

you to come... Calm down. Calm down. We need

you to come to our office. Then you sign for

us. Because we are waiting for you. I should

come and sign and take toilet roll?