Personal account of living in conflict

And this is Varya's room.

And that evening,

Mom said, "Varyush, sleep with me."

Because Varya's throat hurt there, and she was coughing.

And this is where my dad slept.

This is our hallway, blown out.

And this is where my dad slept.

Dad miraculously, miraculously survived.

We still don't understand at all, at all, how.

I swear to God, how?

But miraculously.

He miraculously survived.

There.

Well, that's how it is, friends,

that's how it is. It turns out, ours is blown out,

so, probably, you can go outside from that side of the house,

it turns out, we have

a hole there too,

on that side of the house, we have a hole. There.

Uh...

I don't know what to say, I don't know what to say.

I understand that, yes, no one is

insured against this. We live in such times, but

fuck, how much longer, how much longer can we live in such times?

Not only is my hometown, where I grew up, where I

lived all my life, where my grandparents lived,

where my parents lived, it

is simply burning down, burning down. It is considered not to have been shelled.

You are not entitled to any certificates, nothing.

You are nothing, you are entitled to nothing.

This is how my morning started today. Like this.

This is how my morning started. Mine, my child's, my

husband's, my parents' morning started like this.

Why the fuck? What for? Please explain, why

have we been struck with such a disaster?

Where are we supposed to go? Where are we supposed to go?

What can we even talk about now?

Answer me, what can we even talk about

there,

fuck, I don't know.

There is no hope in anyone, no hope in anyone, only in yourself.

No one will help you, no one will help you.

Even the people who came today, they say, "Well, that's it,"

you know, there's a queue. Of course, we'll do it all ourselves.

Of course. But, guys, there are no windows, it's

cold outside, winter is coming, even just to put glass in a window.

You're waiting your turn, and no one is to blame for that,

and no one is fucking to blame for it.

You see, you're just waiting your turn,

hang a

sheet

over your window and live. Well, that's how it is now.

You should be prepared for these times.

Why the fuck should I be prepared for these times?

Why the fuck should people be prepared for these times?

Why?