Transcript · English → Chinese
Dark Comedy Skit on Torture and Cooking
嘿，Joseph。
你在干什么？
列一份我要送去 古拉格的人名单。有个家伙嘲笑我的 小胡子。
小胡子神圣不可侵犯。吊死他。
你知道吗？算了。 我干脆把所有人都处决了。
你在给我们做什么？
嗯， 今天我旁听了一场审讯
对象是个我们怀疑是
资本家的人。他没招， 但给了我一份绝佳的广式炒饭
食谱。
食谱。
别放太多豌豆。 它们会让我放屁。
我知道。上次我还以为我们 遭轰炸了。
嘿，同志们。
你们在做饭吗？
不是给你的，白胡子。
哦，拜托，伙计。饥荒 是给老百姓的，不是给咱们的。
等着，我去告诉其他人。
嘿，伙计们。
现在没空，伙计。
我赢了，你个死基佬。
你再这么叫我，我就毙了你。
是啊，你每次都这么说。
怎么了，白胡子？
广东炒饭，Mao在做。 你来吗？
好啊，当然。 我一整天都在折磨同性恋者。
搞得我食欲大开。
这道菜真好吃。 差点觉得折磨那家伙都值了。
我们还在等谁吗？
日安。
那是我的前任。
End of transcript · 202 words · machine translated
Original transcript (English)
Hey, Joseph. What are you doing? Making a list of guys I gotta send to the gulag. Some guy made fun of my mustache. The mustache is sacred. Hang him. You know what? Forget it. I'm just executing everybody.
What are you making us? Well, today I sat in on a torture session with a guy we suspected of being a capitalist. He didn't crack, but he gave me a great Cantonese fried rice
recipe. Don't put too many peas in it then. They make me fart. I know. Last time I thought we were getting bombed. Hey, comrades. Are you guys making food?
Not for you, gray beard. Oh, come on, man. Famine is for the people, not for us. Wait, I'll go tell the others. Hey, guys. Not now, man.
I won, you faggot. Call me that again and I'll shoot you. Yeah, you say that every time. What's up, gray beard? Cantonese fried rice. Mao's making it. You in?
Yeah, definitely. I spent all day torturing homosexuals. Opened right up an appetite. Really delicious, this recipe. Almost made torturing that guy worth it. Are we expecting anyone? Guten tag.
That was my ex.
