Coping with Loss and Moving Forward

Hello, everyone.

I'm Pakkun.

Uh, thanks to Tetsuko's Room,

thank you, Tetsuko.

Uh, because of that, news that my wife, Mei,

passed away last year

has become widely known

to the public.

This is my wife, Mei.

Boom. That's big.

Uh, it becoming widely known

isn't a bad thing at all.

I hadn't made it public

because it was private, but

it's nothing to be ashamed of,

so if you have questions,

please send them in.

I'll answer them. I'll talk about it.

On the other hand, becoming known

has also led to some

happy developments.

From people I know

and people I don't know, many

messages of support

have arrived. Everyone's so

kind and thoughtful.

Uh, things like,

"Hang in there, Pakkun,"

and "Pakkun,

that must have been hard."

"Pakkun, please accept

my condolences."

"Pakkun, I haven't

seen you lately."

"Where did Makkun go?"

Though comments like

that are unnecessary.

Also, many people say,

"Cheer up, Pakkun,"

but actually,

I'm doing okay.

It's hard, and

I'm sad, which is

also true,

but I'm doing okay.

Sometimes, at unexpected moments,

I get teary-eyed.

Just yesterday,

I was at Koriyama Station,

walking through a shopping

complex called S-PAL, when I saw

a women's clothing store called Paddy.

I'm not particularly attuned

to women's clothing.

But the name Paddy.

It's also a nickname

for Patrick.

People call me Patrick,

Pat, or Pak-

kun, among other

names, but actually,

my wife was the only person in the world

who called me

Paddy.

So when I saw the name Paddy,

I thought, "Ah, I want to be called

Paddy again."

I wanted to see her, laugh with her,

have a drink with her,

and I got a little teary

beside S-PAL.

But even though there

have been times like that,

and there still are,

I'm doing okay.

It's all thanks to everyone.

Right after my wife died,

my second hometown,

Fukui Prefecture, sent its

entire population—all eleven people—

rushing to Tokyo to

help me in all

sorts of ways.

The neighbors

brought over warm meals,

they really did.

For a while, Mackun, too,

would say, not "What the hell?"

but "What the hell?" in a gentler

way, teasing me.

Thanks to everyone,

thanks to their support,

I'm not getting through it or

overcoming it, but I can move

forward.

Thank you.

I'm truly grateful.

I work now, and

I play volleyball and table

tennis,

I play the piano

terribly,

and annoy the neighbors.

I go dancing, and

I drink lots of craft

beer.

I drink too much craft beer,

so I'm not feeling great the next day.

But even then, I'm basically well.

Thanks to everyone.

My children are doing well too.

My 17-year-old daughter

is nailing spike after spike

in volleyball,

and three days ago, we went to Don

Quijote to

buy false eyelashes.

This used to be my wife's

job,

but I

took it over.

And I don't understand

any of it, so I say,

"Huh? Eyelash glue? This one's strong

and durable,

right?" Like,

I give really male-oriented

advice.

It's fun.

My 19-year-old son is at

Colorado State University,

in my hometown, and he's doing his best

as a college student, I think.

I don't know, because he never contacts me.

Since he left, there have been three

messages. Twice, it was the same LINE message with the same

four-character content: "Gimme money."

Then I got a phone call,

and I thought, "Oh, a call! I'm so

happy,"

but it was,

"Tell me the password for the game

site."

Nineteen characters.

Well, it's no hardship.

Anyway, all three of us are well.

So well, it's almost a problem.

But it's not a bad thing.

The priest at the funeral

said this, too,

that those left behind forever

keep sobbing,

wouldn't make the deceased happy, either.

Everyone living cheerfully

and happily would make them happier, too.

Mei-chan is

watching over me,

I believe that too,

but, well,

she's not a viewer,

but since she's watching anyway,

I want to provide entertaining

content on this end, too.

Actually, bereavement

is part of life.

Unfortunately,

unless you get divorced,

fifty percent of married

people die first.

Fifty percent are left behind.

It is a normal thing.

It is painful, though.

It's okay

to grieve. It's okay to mourn.

It's only natural to keep them in your heart.

But I don't think we need

to stop moving forward.

Don't

leave Mei-chan behind.

Take Mei-chan with you,

and I want to live

positively.

Please support me, everyone.

I'll update you again.

See you.