Smoking, Cancer and Uncle Wilf’s Government Conspiracy Theory

ain't what it used to be.

Mm-mm.

Nothing is.

Guess it's me getting older.

Things was cheaper, though.

Lot cheaper. You

could get five cigarettes for tuppence

then.

They don't make them in fives anymore, do they?

Well, you never see them.

People smoke more, I suppose.

Yeah. People do seem to be

smoking more since

the cancer

scare.

Mm.

Worry, I suppose.

There were none of that then, either.

What?

Cancer. It was all TB then.

They can cure that now, can't they?

Yeah. I suppose

as soon as they can cure cancer,

they'll

think of something else to worry us with.

My Uncle Wilf used to say he

reckoned it was the government.

Did what?

Used to give us all these diseases.

Don't be daft, Mum.

Well, they put them

in our food. That's

what he used to say.

Mum.

Well, you can taste

it in the water sometimes.

That's chloride.

Well, there you are.

They put that in to improve the water.

Well, it don't improve the taste.

My Uncle Wilf used to

say, "The only time they've got any

use for us, the

only time the government's got any use

for us, is in

a war. Rest of the time," he

used to say, "we're an

embarrassment to him." Yeah. He used to say

that they only need so many of

us to do the things

that need doing,

and the rest they'd rather be without.

So they spray our food, put

things in the water to keep us

down.

Well, they do it to rabbits.

He used to grow all his own food.

Everything?

Well, all he

could. He only had a window box.