Election Special Dinner Discussion

Yael,

Do you have a ladle like that? One that doesn't lose seats.

A week before the election, the opposition leaders meet.

For a change, they'll try not to eat each other.

Anyone who doesn't fall in line with me will eat dust at my place.

But eat with each other. So, as is customary, five

amateur and nice politicians—

Not all of us are nice. You're hurting my bad reputation.

will meet at one of their homes for a meal made entirely by their own hands.

Oh!

It's a hobby. Cooking, not killing babies.

What? What did I say? Okay. I'm shutting my mouth

from now on.

I'd be happy if you voted for me. After four years of eating shit,

it's time I ate something better. I'm really counting on tonight.

I haven't eaten in a while either.

Naftali, did you see him wearing my black shirt?

I can't believe it.

I can't believe it. You took my black shirt?

You took ten seats from me!

Let's change the—

It's okay to roll out dough, not

population centers. Okay, I'm shutting my mouth.

A festive election special.

Come on.

Don't.

Hello, Naftul. Hello. Where's God? Hello.

Allah.

Where do you put God?

Allah.

Greetings.

But we said we'd meet in the basement. Where are the chains?

Where's the hostess with a whip?

Look, this is basically my basement. By the way,

A lot of great things came out of here. The Change Government, for example,

Li and Dana Berger's joint show, right here.

Bennett. Hmm? Tell me, what's he doing here? Didn't we say no spouses?

He's here because this is his house. It's like Canada at the World Cup, you say,

"What are they doing here? What do they have to do with soccer?" Oh, they're the hosts.

I don't mind people making fun of me a little.

I've put my ego aside, I have to say.

By the way, no one in the world puts their

ego aside better than I do. I'll remind you

that I became prime minister.

Fine, Eminem used to be a cool rapper, today he dated

my aunt.

Hello, everyone,

Sit down.

I'm starving like a Gazan.

Why?

No, no.

Here.

Oh, wow.

What? What are you doing?

Basic manners. No distractions in the week before

elections.

All right, guys, down to business. We'll start with my dish because I'm the leader.

Why? Because you have a leader's look? Okay, Naftul.

Funny. A ten out of ten.

Now that you've said that, you've dropped it to seven.

Ah. Ooh, wow. Gadi, this is amazing,

it's Michelin-star quality. I’m definitely going to recommend you.

Livo, come on, we agreed to only do simple stuff.

Water under the bridge. Under the bridge I'll

throw him off. I’m only going to recommend myself,

but let's keep that between us in the testimonial, okay?

You're a voice-over artist too. Don't tell.

Tell what?

Exactly.

All right, guys, enjoy. By the way, I'm not hungry,

I only came to drink. Cheers. Cheers.

Cheers. Cheers. Look me in the eyes. Eyes.

Hey, Gadi, you're drinking me.

Gadi, that's not cool, you know that? It's important for the bloc that we also be

big.

Don't say "we." You're like those men who say, "We're pregnant."

Come on, relax, let them drink you. How do we say in Golani?

A leader is like underwear. You don't need several, one is enough.

Okay. Guys, it's time for my dish. My dish…

First, I'm refreshing myself with good things I got at Ramla Market.

There are tomatoes here,

half a bureka, a shoe, and an ashtr—ashtray. Who

threw this? Who threw this? Was it you, bro?

Where's the pig's snout?

You're a champ. Here, out of pity, he wants to eat too.

Zolan, what should I pour you? Pour me some. Yes, it's time for the State of

Israel to have a prime minister who says, "Pour me some."

You asked for it, you got it, amen.

Come on, please.

The pager operation was a mistake.

No, no, no.

Deni Avdija is overrated.

No, no.

Ready for my dish? It'll physically blow your mind.

Come on.

Before that, is anyone at the table a vegetarian?

No.

And Jewish?

What?

Never mind, uh, I brought Shrimpie.

Oh. What's that animal? I've only seen ones like that in the movie "A Ram on Ice."

Do you have a knife?

Check, maybe it's in your back.

What?

No, I was talking to Shrimpie.

Okay, there are a few differences among the bloc's members, but there's one thing

that unites us. We all want to be prime minister.

Excuse me, are we setting a place for someone else?

Hello.

Great. I brought you baklava for dessert. It's even kosher.

Under Seglovit's supervision. Come on, can I sit with you?

Let him in, let him in.

I don't touch Arab food, sweetheart.

Let him come eat with me in Arabic, the announcer said Bobo.

Bennett's in it.

Okay, well, if it doesn't work for you, I'm leaving.

So instead of a correction, you'll have a tie. That's

good enough. It's almost.

A one-time election special. Will their next meal be around the table of the

government?

We didn't get past sixty. Again.

Join us again in the next round, and the one after that.

Again.

And the one after that, and another one, and the one after that.