Dark Comedy on Historical Events

Hey, sleeping beauty, it is the big day.

Ugh.

This is it. Today is the day. I am too impatient.

I did not sleep all night.

Wait two seconds, man. Let me wake up in peace.

Okay, continue.

I have been pacing in the garden. It is going to be insane.

I am going to change the world and win this war.

Hurry up, get dressed, and come downstairs. We

are going to have a good breakfast.

Yo.

Oh, Celestine, you promised me you would cut your hair.

Yeah, I know, but it gives me a little Jesus vibe.

We already said we do not say the name of that dessert Jew in this house.

Sorry, Dolphy.

Good. One more time, you are sure about your plan for the landing

in Normandy?

Yeah, man, I did a year of history at university.

Can you pass me the jam, please?

Damn, I would kill for a bit of Nutella.

What is that now? Another Jewish thing?

No, it is Italian.

Italian is fine. Good. Hurry up, eat, and meet me in the office.

Dolphy is overexcited today.

The last time I saw him like that was for the inauguration of Auschwitz.

Relax, it is going to be fine.

I hope so. I put everything on the Normandy troops.

I am sure about this. It's going to be like wiping out an

anthill with a

flamethrower.

Mein Führer, the Allied forces are approaching the coast.

The battle will begin soon.

Tell me when it's over.

You know what I miss most from the future?

What?

Netflix.

What is that now? Another one of your sexual perversities?

No. Remember I told you about the internet?

Yeah.

Well, this is a thing where you can watch movies

and series whenever you want.

Is that very popular?

Pretty popular, even if a lot of people hate it because of

wokeism.

Wait, you told me that is the thing with Black people

and homosexuals, and you like

that?

Mein Führer, it is done. We crushed the Allied forces.

I admit I had doubts, but thanks to you, we changed destiny.

Thank you, my friend.

Mein Führer, we have a problem on the eastern front.

The Soviets massacred us. They are arriving on Berlin.

Ah.

Quick, to the bunker. I will get Eva and we meet down there.

All of this is your fault.

No, it is yours. I was not the one who decided to pull troops

from the

east.

I should have killed you when I saw you show up in my garden,

like your blue-haired

girlfriend.

No, I am the one who should have killed you.

Nein, mein Eva!

There is nothing we can do for her now. We have to go.

You told me your time was dirty and decadent.

I did not imagine it this bad.

Looks like the communists did not stop at Germany.

Are you some fucking American capitalist from space?

Nah, I am a communist like you, man.

Wait, you are a communist bastard?

Well, at first, I kinda liked your thing with the Jews,

even if making soap out of

people was a little weird, but deep down I think I stayed a

communist.

I would not mind a bit of your soap.

Argh.

Thank you, comrade.

Wait a second before you say thank you, Celestine.

What the fucking hell?