Hindi → English transcript

Let me ask you a question.

Answer this first.

We have to give this answer to the media.

Are you, for your mistake,

going to apologize or not?

I said, sir,

I didn’t even make any mistake, man.

I just…

I didn’t say anything at all.

And what he said was an old joke.

Sir, he wasn’t at fault either, sir.

He says, I am asking you again.

Will you say sorry or will you not say it?

Then I remembered a line by George Orwell.

George Orwell was a very great writer.

He had said a line,

A joke is also a little baby revolution,

and you should not say “revolution.”

But, Assam Police has also said it well,

Then I remembered a line by George Orwell.

They will throw you in jail, you dumb fuck.

So I thought a bit about these two lines.

And I said, here saying sorry is the only thing that makes sense.

You cannot bring revolution into your society with a joke.

If George Orwell had been in Assam,

he would have said, every revolution is a tiny joke.

Isn’t that right, brother?

You only fight when the fight is fair, when you have a chance of winning.

You only fight when the fight is fair.

When the fight is not fair, you fuck off from there.

Kashmiri Pandit wisdom.

We were five percent in Kashmir, a lone Pandit there,

if we had picked up weapons back then, if my parents had,

saying we will fight for our motherland,

we would all have died.

Today they would be making videos about our bravery,

then Akshay Kumar would play some Kashmiri Pandit,

would say, those were the brave people of Kashmir,

who made their sacrifice… what would come of that, brother?

In people’s eyes, they become legends,

and this is the truth, that this is understanding upon understanding.

I said I survived twice,

the police themselves cooperated and came,

said, you are a good guy,

why did you invite those beer biceps to the show?

I said, he is that same lowlife guy, sir, that…

Mumbai Police helped so much, I kept such good optics, I just sat quietly for two months at home, wrote jokes, I thought about all this.

I grew ten times in this controversy and then I put my first tour in Europe and Australia. Dude, I sold 300,000 tickets in the whole tour. Three hundred thousand tickets.