Transcript · Chinese (China) → English
Planning a Romantic Birthday Surprise
Oh, honey, don't be mad. Don't be mad.
Oh, don't move. How did you
jump onto the bed?
- Oh, my! We just painted the walls yesterday.
- Hello, welcome.
Oh, hello. I'd like to come early
and ask first, you know,
about booking a nicer room.
- Mm-hmm. A nicer one. Okay.
- You're really staying here?
Me, me and my wife, well,
my wife is celebrating a big birthday today.
A big birthday. So I thought,
I'd book a nicer room
and make it romantic, right?
- Ha. Okay.
- It's her birthday, right?
- Oh, yes, she's celebrating her birthday, my wife.
- Why is she having such a big birthday?
- Huh? Why is she having such a big birthday?
- You look like you're only two years old.
Oh, my wife and I this year,
my wife and I are both 61 this year.
Oh, she doesn't know. She's 61 by Chinese age,
but by actual age, she's only,
only 59.
That's not very old. Oh, mainly—you're tall.
Oh, mainly because my family was too poor in college,
I just want to live a little better, right?
- Oh, heh. Isn't that nice today?
- Don't worry about it.
Oh, found yourself a rich one, huh?
- A wife with plenty of money.
It's fate. Huh?
- It's fate. Fate. I found someone
with a much better status than mine.
I—oh, my, how
is she so rich?
I thought we'd stay at a nicer hotel
and, well, be romantic.
- Well.
- Flowers. Flowers are best. You—
Well, wh-what is it, miss?
Oh. You. You don't need money?
Okay, well,
I'm not just in it for that,
this is true love, you know. Mm-hmm.
She's my first love, my wife.
Hey, I mean, um,
decorate the room. I thought we'd change the setting
and get a romantic hotel.
Oh. Change the setting.
Oh, we're planning to, you know,
- have a second child.
Your pocket,
- do you have it in your pocket? You've got plenty.
Plenty. It's not mine, though.
Plenty, it's just that
I'm a little older,
and my eldest son isn't young either.
- Oh, he's three years older, huh?
- I can't make him move out.
Oh, older than me,
my eldest son is three years older than me.
Usually, I call her “brother,”
and she calls me “Dad.”
Brother, brother, you—
Anyway, I thought I'd decorate
the room and make it more romantic.
I thought I'd get some balloons,
put up a banner. Since she's having
a birthday, it works out perfectly. For her big birthday, wish my
wife, um,
- Say something to bless her.
What, what do you want to say?
- Are you proposing?
- I mean, I'm telling you, don't take it personally.
- I won't take it personally.
Mm, I just want to
wish my dear old baby.
Hmph, the two of us are usually very loving,
- so I usually call her old baby.
- Please give her my regards.
I wish you, I wish you a long life,
and that you'll never die.
Ah, why me, this…
- You—you're embarrassing me to death,
in my own home.
- You bastard.
Ah, I don't believe she'll never die,
- then my money will never run out, right?
- That's right. Will that work?
- These, these blessings.
Okay, okay, okay. Ah. Okay, okay, okay.
Are you at this point not…
- No. Hey, you,
There's one more thing, how should we handle it? I…
usually keep the room very clean, and the bathroom,
- using the bathroom is very convenient, isn't it?
- Mm, very convenient.
Oh, what about my wife,
she's getting old, and her stomach and intestines aren't very
- good, health-wise.
- Mm. She gets diarrhea.
It's okay, when the time comes, it's okay,
just go in the bed, honey. When the time comes, I'll
stay by your bedside, then…
- replace all the bedsheets with new ones and so on.
Am I…
This, this is better than adult diapers,
- isn't it?
- Ah. Mm, that works. Okay, okay, okay.
Otherwise, she'll poop all over
- the floor. Okay. This is a photo of my wife.
Just agree to come to the room,
and say it. Oh.
Oh, a photo of my wife. Look,
- isn't my wife beautiful?
- She's exposed herself, she's exposed herself. Oh.
Right, at home she always wears
- black stockings and thermal underwear.
- Oh. I see.
Oh, then that's it. Hey, do you think
we should write a bigger amount? Okay. I mean, I spent…
- Once I've paid, it covers fixing her up, okay?
- Sure, sure. Okay? Just pay, pay
- a bit more, okay? What do you say?
- Just write a bigger amount. How much?
Uh, okay, 88,000 isn't too little.
Okay?
- Ah, just write 88,000. Oh.
- Okay, okay, I'll book that place.
Mm, okay, then book that place.
How much is it?
- Transfer the money to me first, okay.
- Mm, it's 30,960.
- Oh, then set up the room.
- I'll call you, you…
I'll put a call through to you in a moment. Mm.
Hello, old baby.
Ah, what's wrong, baby?
- Ah, I miss you too, I miss you too.
- Why don't you say it when you don't see me?
Ah, right, right, right, ah.
What's wrong? Did you poop in the bed again?
Oh, honey, don't get mad.
Mad? No, I'm not mad.
Hey, don't move. How did you…
jump onto the bed?
Oh, I just painted the wall yesterday.
Okay, okay. I'll go home now.
Oh, love you, love you. Mwah, mwah, mwah!
Oh, then I need to hurry and think…
about going home. My wife—
- She pooped on the bed again.
- Okay, okay, okay. Fine. Okay.
Okay. Okay. Okay.
End of transcript · 932 words · machine translated
Original transcript (Chinese (China))
啊老公不生气啊，不生气。 啊你别动啊，怎么， 蹦到床上去了都。 - 哎呀，刚刷了墙昨天。 - 你好，欢迎光临。
哎哦你好，我现在提前 来先问问，就是 订个那种好点的房间啊。 - 嗯。好点的。啊。 - 你真的住吧。
我，我和老婆那个， 就是在天上老婆这不是过大寿啊 ，过大寿。我寻思说， 那个来订个好点的房间， 那准备得浪漫一下不是。
- 哈。啊。 - 过生日是吧。 - 啊对啊，就过寿啊，我和老婆。 - 怎么还过大寿呢？ - 啊？怎么还过大寿呢？
- 你看着你都两岁了。 啊我和老婆今年， 啊我和老婆今年六十一了。 啊，她不知道，她虚岁六 十一啊，周岁其实才，
才五十九了。 不是很大呀。哦主要是-你高。 哦，主要是我大学家里太穷了， 就是想过得好一点是不是啊？ - 哦，呵。那不是今天好的，
- 别操心了。 哦，找了个有钱的哈， - 有的是钱的老婆。 天意啊。啊？ - 天意啊。天意，我看有个
- 比我身份好蛮多的。 我哎呀，怎么 - 这么有钱。 我寻思出来住个好点的酒店 ，那个，哦浪漫浪漫。
- 那。 - 花，花最好。你。 那，怎-怎么了美女啊？ 啊。你。不要钱啊。 好，那不是，
我也不是搞单单图这一层， 俺这也是真爱啊，你知道。嗯。 她是我那初恋啊，那个老婆。 哎，俺那就是说，呃， 布置房间吧。我寻思换个环境，
弄个浪漫的酒店。 啊。换个环境。 啊，准备这不是想有个， - 想有个二胎啊。 你这口袋，
- 你口袋有了吗？都太有了。 都太，不是我的，不过。 都太就是， 年龄稍微大了点，俺， 俺的大儿也不小了，
- 哦大三岁了哈。 - 我没法逼着出去。 啊，比我， 比我大三岁，俺大儿。 她，平时我就是叫哥，
她就，叫爸爸呢。 哥呢哥你。 是不是这个，哦，我寻思俺就布 置布置房间，布置得浪漫点啊。 我寻思弄点什么气球啊，
拉个横幅，她不是过 寿嘛，正好。过大寿就是祝俺老 婆，呃， - 祝福她的话。 想，想说什么话？
- 求婚吗？ - 就是我和你说，你别计较。 - 我不会计较。 嗯，就想 祝我亲爱的老baby。
哼，俺俩平时怪恩爱， - 我就叫她叫老baby平时啊。 - 麻烦招呼你。 祝你，祝你长命百岁 ，永远不死。
啊我为什么，这， - 你这-你把我羞死了， 在我家去 - ，你孙子。 啊我不信她永远不死，
- 我钱不就永远花不完是吧。 - 是嘞。能行吗？ - 这个，这个祝福的话。 行行行。啊。行行行。 你是这点不 行行行。啊。行行行。 你是这点不
- 是。哎，你， 还有一个事情是咋弄，俺 咯平时就是房间怪干净，厕所， - 上厕所怪方便不是？ - 嗯，特方便方便。
哦，俺老婆咋着， 她年龄大了吧，这肠胃不太 - 好身体啊。 - 嗯。她会拉稀。 不要紧，到时候，不要紧，
就拉到床上，老婆呀，到时候我 陪床勺，那， - 那床单全换新的啥的说。 我是不是， 这这比那个成人尿不湿
- 是不是？ - 啊。嗯，能行哈。行行行。 要不她都会撒一 - 地。行。这就是俺老婆照片， 你就答应出来跟到房间，
你就说。哦。 哦，俺老婆照片，这不你看， - 俺老婆长多好看。 - 她暴露，她暴露了。哦。 对啊，平时在家她都穿
- 黑丝穿保暖衣啊。 - 哦。就是哦。 哦，那就这样。哎你觉得 写个大吧。行。就是我花， - 花了包就包修她，行吧？
- 成成。行吧？就多，多 - 交些得行吧，你说。 - 就写大吧。写多少呢？ 呃，行，八万八不少。 行吧？
- 啊，就写八万八。哦。 - 行行，我去订那一家。 嗯，行啊，那订那一家吧。 多少钱？ - 你先转我钱吧，得。
- 嗯，那个三万九百六。 - 哦，那布置好房间啊。 - 我给你电话，你。 等会给你接个电话啊。嗯。 喂，老baby。
啊，怎么了宝宝？ - 啊我也想你，我也想你了啊。 - 你怎么不见你就说。 啊，对对对，啊。 怎么了？又拉到床上去了？
哎呀，啊老公不生 气啊，不生气。 啊你别动啊，怎么， 蹦到床上去了都。 哎呀，刚刷了墙昨天，嗯。
行好，啊我这就回家。嗯。 哦，爱你爱你，muamuamua！ 哦那要我抓紧想 想回家，俺老婆 - 她又拉到床上去了。
- 行行行。好，行。行行行。 好。好。好。 - 行行行。好，行。行行行。 好。好。好。
