Understanding Men's Perceptions of Relationships

Many Chinese men have a major

misunderstanding, because they take

responsibility far too seriously—so much so

that if you're not rich enough, you feel unworthy

of starting a relationship. Of course, practical

conditions matter, and I won't lie to you

and say money doesn't matter at all,

but what is truly unfortunate

isn't that you don't have much money,

but that you make all your strengths

sound so cheap. I really don't get it:

you're clearly stable, yet you say, "I just have

a normal job." You're responsible,

yet you say, "I'm nothing special."

You care for family, yet say, "I'm not romantic."

You've been through a lot, yet you say,

"I'm just pretty average."

Huh? Why? It's not that you have no

value, but that you have never

properly presented your worth.

It's not about packaging yourself as tall, rich, and handsome,

nor do you need to pretend to be a great conversationalist,

but you should at least know what traits

make you suitable for a long-term relationship:

stable, reliable, willing to take responsibility,

living simply, staying out of trouble,

and willing to build a good life.

These aren't trivial things—these are

genuine strengths. The problem is that you

never talk about them.