Understanding Female Solipsism in Psychology

Female solipsism is the tendency in a woman to experience the entire

world through the channel of her own feelings, where her emotional state in the

present moment becomes the measuring stick for what is true, what is fair,

and what is real. She is the sun, and every person,

event, and conversation orbits her as a satellite

that exists in

relation to how it makes her feel. This is a feature of female

psychology, ancient and durable, and it sits underneath the personality

of every woman, regardless of her intelligence,

her schooling, or how

evolved she insists she is. Understand where it comes from,

and you stop taking it personally.

For a couple hundred thousand years, the female reproductive engine carried the

enormous cost: nine months pregnant, years nursing,

vulnerable through all of it, dependent on the tribe and on a man to

provide cover while she did the most expensive biological labor in nature.

A psychology that keeps her own survival and her own state at the absolute

center is the psychology that kept her and her offspring alive.

Her feelings are a navigation instrument.

When she feels good, she reads the environment as safe.

When she feels bad, she reads it as a threat,

and she will rewrite the

facts of the day to match the feeling rather than rewrite the feeling to

match the facts. This is why she remembers the fight differently

than

you do. She genuinely experiences the past as it

felt to

her, and the feeling becomes the record.

Her truth is the story that protects the emotion she

is carrying right now,

and she will defend that story with total conviction,

because to her, it is

the truest thing in the room. The man's part in this is the part

most men refuse to look at. He hears her recount an event in a way

that

bears no resemblance to what happened, and he picks up the rope.

He explains. He produces evidence.

He tries to argue her back to the factual record as though she were a man who could

be moved by it. Every minute he spends litigating the

facts on the

battlefield of her feelings, he loses ground,

because he agreed to fight

a war that cannot be won there. The man who sees solipsism

stops arguing with the weather. He changes her state instead of

correcting her story, because the state

was always the thing generating the

story. He stays planted while she moves and lets her orbit

settle around something that does not wobble.

Her world bends toward her feelings.

His does not, and she can feel the difference through

the phone.