Hindi → English transcript

Damn, these Gujaratis know something that the rest of the country has no idea about.

No man, not them.

Even they had a hunch, because they already knew about what happened to those two Gujaratis before them.

But I am talking about ordinary Gujaratis.

Like, look at these long lines at the petrol pump in Surat.

Even though the government has told us that there is no shortage of anything.

Still, these Gujaratis are not ready to believe it.

Why is that?

Like, look at this video from this petrol pump in Gujarat

where people are getting petrol filled in all sorts of things

cookers, pots, buckets, tanks, milk cans, drums, blue drums

which were probably kept for an emergency

water tankers, plastic cans, Sintex water tanks

hanging steel containers, plastic jerrycans

and this guy has even put a blue drum on his head and come

No idea how he will take it back.

He’s gone and brought everyone’s bottle.

For how many years does he want to hoard this oil?

Good thing no one stuffed their mouth and took it away.

Now you must be thinking, “What stupid people, right?”

And you must be laughing at them after seeing this.

That when the government has said once that there is no shortage of LPG and petrol,

then there really will not be any problem.

But understand one thing I’m saying.

How long have you and I known these two Gujaratis?

For the past eleven to twelve years.

But these Gujarati people have known these two since their childhood.

And as soon as the great man said in Parliament that just like corona, we have to face this difficult time too,

these people understood they were about to get screwed and rushed to the petrol pump.

This is exactly my problem with films like Dhurandhar.

That everything in it was great, but it was released years after the scandal happened.

And only then did we realize that during demonetization, the hardship we went through…

Actually, it was not hardship at all, rather Ajay Saniyal ji was giving us a chance to serve the nation

Just as our soldiers were standing guard in Siachen, in the same way we were standing in ATM lines

Now since our Prime Minister is that non-biological avatar sent by the Almighty, he must already know the future, right

So he should tell Adityadar bhai and have him get Dhurandhar’s next ten to twenty parts about the scandals that will happen in the future prepared in advance

The one that gets released right before the scandal happens

How is it that people who drank dirty water or poisonous cough syrup died, or that roads and flyovers are collapsing

How is Ajay Sanyal the one having all those incidents carried out just to target the terrorists?

Or is the cylinder shortage happening because Pakistan is filling them with sewer gas, or farts, or bombs instead of LPG and sending them here?

I mean, I am sure that everything must have some reason or the other, right

Because the divine incarnation Modi ji can never possibly make any mistake

So Modi ji, with folded hands I request you to please think about the next parts of Dhurandar as soon as possible

Because the majority of people in Hindustan are not illiterate and blind like me

who can understand your masterstroke even without the help of any film

For them, making Dhurandar is very necessary so that they can mentally prepare themselves in time

and when they are standing in line for hours for an LPG cylinder and are stung by honeybees, when there is a honeybee attack

then they should not, in anger, even think of changing the government