Family Arrest Story with Humor

During COVID, my older brother, uh, was arrested for dealing on Telegrass.

Mmm.

Good family, good family.

I'm the successful son in the family, and I'm Stand the Peace.

First of all, I'll never forget the day of the arrest for the rest of my life.

At nine in the morning, my mother calls me, "Come quickly, there are cops here, there are a-all these sniffer dogs, they're arresting

your brother." I lived ten minutes from my parents, I ran home and all that.

I walk in, I see my brother in my parents' house, handcuffed

at the hands

and feet, two cops and four sniffer dogs.

I said to them, "Who did you come to arrest? El Chapo?"

Yes.

“Or Shumpy Pumpy from Telegrass? What is all the…” My poor dog too, my mom

puts him in a cage. My dog was in shock, “Ahhh, they’re conquering us.” My dog was in…

“Ahhh.”

It was—

His whole worldview was shattered. My dog was in…

And I walk into this. My mom’s sitting at the table, uh, eating in the living room, she

and a cop.

Wow.

She’s even like, “Want something to drink? Want something to eat?” Like, Mom.

She also told me afterward, “I was nice to him, maybe it’ll help your brother at trial.”

You know Mom? Like, during the Holocaust.

The SS show up: “Want something to eat?” “Want

something to drink?”

Uh, she told me, “Maybe it’ll help him at the hearing.” Like that’s what…

That’s how a judge rules on a 100-gram Telegrass deal, but

those schnitzels!

So she’s with the cop, and another cop is looking for weed in my brother’s room.

He found a bag full of weed.

For real.

Where did my brother hide it? Under the pillow.

Uh, genius.

Genius. Criminal, the worst criminal.

Maybe the Weed Fairy

left him a munchie there.

One hundred grams under the pillow.

What a terrible criminal.

What a terrible criminal.

Okay, they just brought dogs, he put it there— Is that what the dogs are for?

Yeah. The dog’s also like, “What is this?”

Easy. That’s what you brought me for?

“What is this? I smelled it from the station.”

Guys, the way his brother hides drugs, they could’ve brought a dog

with no sense of smell, bro.

They show up with a Pomeranian.

Is this our drug hamster?

For cases like these, you don’t need a dog.

Anyway, the cop comes over to my brother, all pleased, “Look what bag I found.”

And my brother says, “Okay, this is what’s in it. Anyway, take me into custody.”

And the cop was all pleased, “I think we’ll find a few more things here.”

He was like…

Then the cop who did the search came back, he found powder in the refrigerator

that looked like cocaine. He came into the living room all pleased, told the other cop, “Look.”

“Look what I found, whoa!” And the other cop, “Whoa,

whoa!” And my mom says, “Officer,

it’s baking soda.”

What a loser.

“Oh, sorry, sorry, man.”