Political Views and Identity Changes

Who will you vote for?

Listen carefully. Until October seventh, I was as left-wing as they come.

There is.

Wow, he was as left-wing as they come. No protests against Gallant, he'd say

“Shh” at the movies.

Then I came to my senses and became as right-wing as they come.

He became as right-wing as they come. Opposed the hostages, supported crocodiles,

broke a Jesus doll in Lebanon.

Then I saw that the ultra-Orthodox don't enlist. I became as centrist as they come.

Center, equality in the burden, Yoaz Hendel, Hanoch Daum, I reeked

of reservists' smoking areas.

Fat. Then I realized I'd gone too far with all this persecution of

ultra-Orthodox values, that you can't do it

by force. You understand? I became as ultra-Orthodox as they come.

He became as ultra-Orthodox as they come. Twelve daughters, six sons. How am I doing?

I'm still recovering. He only flies El Al.

Then I realized I don't do anything, don't enlist in the army, don't pay

taxes. I can already be Arab.

Ah, he became as Arab as they come. Painted the whole house blue, put a fountain in the living room.

Then I got into this whole home-design thing and realized I'm actually gay.

I've become as gay as can be.

He's become as gay as can be.

Totally.

Wait, how gay?

All of it, every last bit.

Let's just say I kept watching Hapashuta without you.

Ew.

That.