Japanese → English transcript

So right now, everyone’s sharing their dark pasts.

Like things they really messed up.

I went out as a group of four with my girlfriend and her friend.

Four people as in guys and girls?

Yeah, we were dating as two guys and two girls.

We all went into a love hotel room together.

I was drunk, so I don’t really remember much, but…

Right there in front of my girlfriend,

I did stuff with the other girl in that love hotel.

What!?

No, seriously.

No, seriously, for real.

Do you remember it?

I remember, and in that instant I sobered up

and stormed out, totally furious.

So, was that girl your friend?

Since middle school.

Wait, so did you cut ties?

Not yet? How many times have you cheated?

I’ve been caught quite a lot.

Her face is way too sharp, she sees through everything.

There was this one total blank-page episode too.

That day, pretending it was for a friend,

I installed Tinder.

I put Tinder in there, not at the end of the apps list,

then deleted it from there.

And up to then, for months,

like for about a year, she had never checked my phone,

but that night

all of a sudden she starts rifling through my phone.

What!?

She said something like,

kind of just…

Instead of apologizing, first I actually clapped.

Like, “That’s amazing.”

What do you do for work?

Numbers.

Do you do any “special services”?

No, I don’t.

Do it for me here, right now.

It’d be great if you stripped naked for us right here.