English transcript

Back when I was 15 my old history teacher wanted to and this is actually

more of a more serious story I know that I sound like I'm joking us because I

don't know how to deal with it because fun fact I didn't tell anybody this

story until probably a year or two ago and I had never even told anybody the full

story so I'm gonna tell you the full story so back when I was I think maybe

15 I don't know I know I was in 8th or 9th grade when this happened my

boyfriend at the time was on the basketball team and he was a very mean

boyfriend he was not a nice boyfriend to me at all he would literally make fun of

me not just to my face but also behind my back to his friends and in the

locker room and I had the teacher I had him back whenever I was in sixth or

seventh grade I can't remember anyways and we were like he was like a cool

teacher like I would buy him gifts and like whatever like I thought he was

chill anyways I get to that grade that I'm in and he's now coaching my boyfriend

at the time's basketball team and he comes up to me one day and he's like hey

I just want you to know like he's talking bad about you and I hope you're

okay because like it's not it's not cool like it's not nice if you need anything

here's my number whatever and like after that he would like literally takes not

take school take pizza to like the school and he was at a different school

so he was still teaching like seventh grade and I was over here at like the

eighth grade ninth grade school and he would like take me pizza he would like

get me into the game like I don't know just like little stuff like that but

anyways he would text me and he was just like kind of like text about him I wish

I had my old phone I literally wish I had my old phone to like get into the

messages to like show you I'm not lying anyways and so yeah and then one day the

messages you just got like a little bit crazy and like I don't really know uh I

know I know I know I'm so stupid I'm not smiling because it's like funny I'm what

like I just don't know how to deal with any of this like I still I'm like trying

to process this because it's like actually did kind of fuck me up a little

bit anyways so then I'm gonna go I don't want to stop smiling cuz then I know I'm

gonna like get sad and then hug her I don't know anyways so I don't know where

I was out with a story I literally can't think right now whenever I start

talking about I just like anyways one day the messages got inappropriate and he

was asking if I knew how to do certain things and I was like no I've never

really like seen anything like that I don't know how to do any of the stuff

that you're like saying I should know how to do and so then he proceeds to

like tell me what to do shows me and like this is all over text message and

whatever I don't know what happened I didn't know he had a wife but yeah he

had a wife I found out he had a wife and then I was like wait you have a wife and

he's like it's okay it's like an open relationship and I was like what is that

and he like explains what an open relationship is and I was like oh

that's not right I don't I don't think that's right well like I know now it's

like whatever everybody has their own shit but like at the time I was just

like why would you want to be with somebody else whenever you like I just

didn't understand it like I was literally so young I did not understand

how any of that shit worked and I just like kind of stopped texting him I don't

really remember what happened exactly and then probably like a year or two not a

year but like two or three years ago I had went back home for the summer and I

went swimming and I was with my niece and I saw him at the pool and he was

like messing around not messing around but like I don't know just like playing

with kids probably from his class and I don't know why but that like literally

pissed me off so bad and then I was just like with my niece I don't actually start

crying right now and I just like looked at her and I was just like damn like I

literally like I would feel so gross knowing that she would one day like if

he's still there be in his class and like that shit really pissed me the

fuck off so I'm trying to collect my thoughts okay so whenever I had Solomon

to piss me off I had added him and whenever I had added him we're just

talking we're having normal conversation and he was telling me like oh I would

love to take you on a date and I was just like bro what like is this was this

your plan like the whole time and even back then in our old messages he was

like saying that how whenever I was first in his class like he would have

like thoughts about me and like wanting to like see me in another kind of way

you know what I mean um and so I don't know and then he asked if he could take

me on a date or something I was just like bro what like like like okay like I

get it like I'm old enough now but like like it's just weird like that you this

whole time I was in your class like that's how you saw me like that's

literally how you saw me and like all this stuff whatever and so I got a

little bit annoyed and then he starts sending me videos of like presents he

got like his kids or like that gifts that they gave to me I don't know but it

just reminded me of like a younger me and that shit just felt so gross and

icky and I was just like I was nice and I was trying to be nice and I was just

like are you sorry about like anything you ever did to me like like low-key that

did fuck me up in a way like that actually did fuck me up like I was

really really young I don't think that I should have been exposed to that I don't

know and like he did say sorry and like I still have the messages I literally

still have screenshots of like the messages he sent me about like him being

sorry and like all this stuff and like I did want to let it go and then that's

whenever I did tell the teacher and I was like I don't know what I should do

like should I say something should I not like he is sorry and that's whenever she

said she had to report it and then that's when I was freaking out and I was

like fuck like my parents and all this stuff and like I didn't even I couldn't

even go into detail with my parents about like what happened I'm like barely

giving like this is like the most that anybody's ever gotten like out of me but

yeah and I don't know it was just a lot it was like a it was a big thing and

then I just couldn't talk to my parents or like anybody about it because it was

like just I don't know I don't know I just I can't deal with it like even

whenever I'm trying to think about it right now I feel like I'm like because

like I just I can't even like process it in my head like I don't I don't know how

to explain it like ah fuck I don't know I'm starting to feel like weird like I

literally feel like I'm like this anyways just that's also what had got

me to drink a lot more to during that time because I did not want to deal with

any of it and so I just did it and then the school finally dealt with it and he

was he got to resign whatever and I was really upset and I really did want to do

something about it and like I did kind of want to sue and like my mom was my

parents were gonna push for it because like they're gonna let me decide whatever

I want to do cuz they they want to make sure I was comfortable and like I don't

go through like anything traumatic I guess just and they like literally didn't

know about any of this like they thought like I don't know back then even

whenever things were wrong like I would go home pretend I was fine and then like

oh wait hold up I don't know just my parents never knew anything that could

have possibly like why I would have ever been upset like and also I was just a

happy kid and like anything bad that would happen to me I just like throw it

in the back of my head and forget about it and I don't know why it just comes

back sometimes and that's just what had happened but yeah I don't even think I'd

be old enough I don't think I like it it's too far it happened too long ago I

don't even think I could do anything I did want to do something because the

school never did anything and that shit like really freaked me out like I do I

think that he would do it again I don't think so but like at the same time I

don't know but yeah I don't know everything that was handled I I

literally didn't want to speak up and I had told him I don't want to speak up if

nothing was gonna happen that's honestly how it felt like nothing happened and

felt like nobody cared about this and I mean like even now of course I would

like to do something but in the back of my head I'm like okay well one day he's

gonna like I don't know I guess pay for it whenever you know we all like but I

don't know I don't know how to feel about any of it like I do forgive him

and stuff like that but at the same time it's just like why wasn't this shit

taken serious when I brought it up

sorry I'm trying to smile because I don't want to cry okay bye

you