English transcript

Commander Thorn, our scanners indicate a terrestrial guild light cruiser coming out of whipspace now.

Hmm. Prepare the tractor beam and a boarding crew.

Very well, sir.

These guild brutes can prove unpredictable.

Commander Thorn, you and your Federation war pigs are trespassing in the territory of the Terrestrial Guild of Systems.

Surrender your feeble craft and...

Excuse me. I'm sorry. Why are you upside down?

What?

Your ship. You're flying upside down.

No, you're flying upside down.

I'm not flying upside down. All right, we've been flying like this the entire time.

You just showed up and you're obviously upside down.

Well, from my point of view, you're upside down.

Okay, well that's not a...

I didn't break it to you, but you're upside down.

You know what I mean.

Your crew is in violation of Statute 431B of the Traffic Enforcement Act.

Yeah, of course, of course.

Constituting illegal and reckless circumrotation, punishable by ten years in an asteroid labor camp.

Correct your rotation this instant.

Your primitive guild laws hold no power here.

This territory has been annexed for His Majesty, the Archvizier,

and therefore follows the galactic orientational standards set by the Federal Directions Committee,

which clearly state that this is up and this is down.

Rotate your craft at once and prepare for boarding.

Wait, you can't hail me for boarding. I hailed you.

No, you didn't. I'm hailing you right now.

I called you first.

All right, well, I was about to call you. I just wasn't being so desperate about it.

Spare us the indignity and surrender your cruiser to us right side up before anyone gets hurt.

All right, you know what? That's it.

You and your crew have been reported to the Galactic Security Bureau

and sentenced to death for the crimes of vehicular mischief and space terrorism.

Flip your craft over so that we may blow it out of the sky.

Well, if it's a war with the guild you want, it's a war you will get.

Once you stop flying upside down, you will be met with the full destructive ordinance of the Trade Guild.

Target their left engines.

Our left or their left, sir?

Well, they're upside down, so it's the same left.

Oh, yeah, sorry.

You know what? Forget it. You want to do this?

Yeah, you know what? I do. Bring it.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Let's do this, then.

Let's go.

Punch it.

Now!

Oh, what?

Oh, come on.

We can't both do it.

All right, well, I'm not flipping over again.

All right, that was the one time I'm going to do it. I'm not doing it again.

You leave me no choice. Admit you're flying upside down or be obliterated.

I would sooner die a proud Guzintian death than submit to your fascist delusion that this is somehow down.

Flip over now!

You're the one that's upside down!

You both are actually sideways.

Excuse me?

Sorry, fellas. I was out taking a stroll here with my alien child sidekick, Booga.

Booga.

And I couldn't help but overhear you on the comms.

See, I just flew up from Corvus 9 here, so technically, from the perspective of the planet, you both are sideways.

Fire at will.

All right, carry on.

Yes, happy flying.

Booga.

Booga.