Transcript · English → Chinese
Royal Family Comedy Sketch
亲爱的卡米拉， 没有什么比在巴尔莫勒尔度过宁静 的周六更好了。
清新的苏格兰空气，
肮脏的苏格兰人。
真惬意。
我真喜欢我们外出度周末， 没有任何责任，
就跟每天一样。
那是什么鬼动静？
爸爸。
我回来了。
哈里，你们两个来这儿干什么？
这座城堡只限王室成员。
哦，查尔斯，别这么暴躁。
你好，亲爱的哈里，啵， 还有美丽的梅根，肤色一如既往地
棕。
哇，谢谢。嗨，继母王后。我，我， 我给你带了份礼物。
哦，梅根，你真不该这么破费。
是冰。
我亲手做的。
我可以把食谱给你。我，我， 我算是进过厨房。
是真的。她雇的厨师都是最好的。
我爱你。
我更爱你。
不，我更爱你。
不，宝贝，我更爱你。
我更爱你。
别—
不，我更爱你—
别这样！呃。
你们两个想要什么？
我们要搬回英国了， 需要你帮忙。
别告诉我你已经花光了所有的 Netflix钱。
爸爸，那可是六千万美元。原本 该撑多久？
我要求不多，只要一两个 公国。
你真是越来越没出息了。 你该庆幸你父亲不在，没看到
这一幕。
什么？什么？刚才那是什么？什么？什么 ？
不—没事。没事。
爸爸， 我不想当皇室成员
不代表我想当个普通
人。
有人说“普通人”？
安迪·伯纳姆。
你在这儿干什么？
我是新首相， 和上一任完全不同。
哈里，梅根，我来告诉你们， 你们虽然是普通
人，也不代表你们的人生就得 一塌糊涂。
这就是伯纳姆承诺。
天啊，他真英俊。 看看那睫毛。
嘿，亲爱的，我的眼睛在这儿。
拜托，大家都到了。现在—
嘿，听好了，伙计们—…… 因为人民已经发声了，整整300人—
都发声了—
……他们决定让我 当首相。
信息很明确：英国不只有 伦敦，还有曼彻斯特。
还有利物浦。
还有我现在担任议员的那个镇。
一切都太仓促了。 我没记住它的名字。
梅克菲尔德？
也许我要造一片田。
等我想起那该死的地方叫什么后， 我要造各种各样的东西。
说到建设，记住我的话， 北方唐宁街10号
说到建设，记住我的话， 北方唐宁街10号
只是开始。 我不会停下，直到
这个国家的每条街上都有一座 唐宁街10号。
哪怕一条街上只有九栋房子—……
我们也要再盖一栋。
你看，你这沙加斯蒂，就像—
就像我之前的加里·巴洛， 我只是一个来自
北方的普通人—
有梦想、亲民作风， 还有个壮硕的儿子。
感谢Giacomo大码男装系列——
因为有你，我儿子帅爆了。
你觉得呢，Meghan？ 我们要像Andy一样当普通人吗？
搞什么鬼？ 我比起上一个更喜欢他。
这就是我的全部卖点。
听着，没错，确实有黑暗势力
在外面企图分裂我们，没错， 他们会
成功。
但在那之前，我说咱们喝杯啤酒。
我请大家喝一品脱。
因为，
因为我想让你们喜欢我。
我需要你们喜欢我，而且——
新萨托里现场直播！
End of transcript · 571 words · machine translated
Original transcript (English)
Dear Camilla, nothing like a quiet Saturday in Balmoral. Clean Scottish air, dirty Scottish people. Bliss. I do so love our weekends away. No responsibilities,
just like every other day. What in the devil is that racket? Daddy. I'm home. Harry, what are you two doing here?
This castle is for royals only. Oh, Charles, don't be such a grump. Hello, sweet Harry, mwah, and beautiful Meghan, as brown as ever. Gee, thanks. Hey, Step-Queen. I, I, I brought you a gift.
Oh, Meghan, you shouldn't have. It's ice. I made it myself. I can give you the recipe. I'm, I kinda was in the kitchen. It's true. She hires the best cooks.
I love you. I love you more. No, I love you more. No, I love you more, baby. I love you more.
Stop- No, I love you- Stop that! Ugh. What do you two want? We're moving back to the UK, and we need your help.
Don't tell me you've spent all your Netflix money already. Daddy, it was $60 million. How long was it meant to last? I'm not asking for much, just a duchy or two. What a waste you've become. You're lucky your father isn't around to see this.
What? What? What was that? What? What? Ne- nevermind. Nevermind. Daddy, just because I don't want to be a royal doesn't mean I want to be a regular guy.
Did somebody say regular guy? Andy Burnham. What are you doing here? I'm the new PM, and I'm nothing like the last one. Harry, Meghan, I'm here to tell you that just because you're normal
folk doesn't mean your life has to be crap. That is the Burnham promise. My God. He's magnificent. Look at those lashes. Hey, love, me eyes are down here. Come on. We're all here. Now-
Hey, now listen up, cockers- ... because the people have spoken, all 300 people- ... who decided I was to be prime minister. And the message is clear: There is more to Britain than London. There is Manchester. There is Liverpool.
There's that town that I'm the MP of now. It's all a bit of a rush. I didn't catch the name. Makerfield? Maybe I will make a field. I'm gonna make all sorts of things once I remember the name of that bloody
place. And speaking of building, mark my words, Number 10 North is just the start. I will not stop until there is a Number 10 on every street in this country. Even streets that only have nine houses on them- ...
we will build one more. You see, you shagasty, like- Like Gary Barlow before me, I'm just a regular man from the North- ... with a dream, a relatable manner, and a massive son.
Shout out to Giacomo Big and Tall range- ... because of you, my boy looks bangin'. What do you say, Meghan? Shall we be regular folk just like Andy? What the heck? I like him more than the last guy. That's my whole thing.
So hear this: Yes, there are dark forces out there trying to divide us, and yes, they will succeed. But until then, I say let's have a pint. I will buy everybody a pint.
Because, because I want you to like me. I need you to like me, and- Live from the new satory!
