Ukrainian → English transcript

I have a house in a village in the Poltava region, and I have neighbors there that I talk to.

And you can hear all kinds of things there, very interesting ones.

For example, recently I went down to the riverbank, and the Psel River there is just fantastic.

I arrive, and my two neighbors, Tolik and Lyokha, are standing there, chatting about something.

One is about to go for a swim, the other is just standing there.

And Lyokha says, "Well, Tolya, so you went hunting, did you get anything?"

And he says, "Nah, they shot some guy."

I ask, so lazily,

And he says, "Which one?"

"Well, it wasn't us."

"He popped out of the reeds, they went bang, and the boat sped off."

"Well, nobody caught the registration number."

There's a pause. "Should I swim or not, like you fucking said."

"And the water is cold."

I say, "Come on, Lyokha, just get in."

He looked at me like that.

"Fucking beavers," he says, "they've chewed up everything."

I say, "What? Where are the beavers?"

"Don't you see? They've chewed up everything."

So, I'm walking in the morning.

Well, I'm setting up a poaching net.

And I startled it with an oar.

So it flies over the boat like this.

Flying like this.

And it gave me such a nasty look.

It has these teeth.

He says, "If it bit you..."

I'm telling you, if it touches your leg like this,

you won't need a doctor anymore.

Only a prosthetist.

Otherwise, go get a prosthesis.

Weighing about 60 kilograms.

I just imagined this flying beaver.

Sixty kilograms, a beaver flying over the boat

and smiling with its teeth.

Well, that's the kind of people there.

You don't actually need to make anything up.

It's all walking right beside you.