Patriot vs. Progressive Smart Home Comedy Skit
1 min Comedy
Welcome to Patriot Smart Home. Freedom, automated.
Now this is what I'm talking about. TV, put on Hannity.
To continue, please kiss the wall displayed on your screen.
The what? Please kiss the wall displayed on your screen.
Refreshment locked. Please reaffirm your commitment.
Set temperature to 69 degrees. To continue, please kiss the wall displayed- I already kissed it twice.
Previous affirmations have expired. This damn thing makes me kiss a wall every time I want a beer.
Have you considered our Progressive Smart Home?
What's that gonna do, make me chop my Twinkie off and put on a dress?
It doesn't have a loyalty wall. How progressive?
Very.
Ronald Reagan help me. Fine, sir. I'm a gender-flex, non-binary, trans-feminine retail associate.
Welcome to Progressive Smart Home. Inclusion, automated.
Yeah, yeah, put on Fox News. Streaming requires participation in the Housing Equity Program.
What? To continue, please accept one resident into your home.
Into my house? Correct. Where's decline?
Declining is not currently supported. Of course it isn't.
Muhammad? This ain't Dearborn. Dirk a dirk your way on out of here.
It's Samir. I'm really sorry. The Patriot Smart Home system burned down my house.
Wait a minute. Who the hell makes both of these things?
End of transcript · 210 words
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