Satirical Take on Modern Life

Look at the life of modern man. I open my eyes up,

pick up my phone for some

early morning radiation poisoning, and now I'm gonna have a shit

and wipe my arse

with some toxic bleach parasite-ridden toilet paper.

Then I'm gonna brush me teeth with some fluoride, have a shower and wash me body

and hair in formaldehyde and parabens before putting some toxic

heavy

metal under me armpits. I'm gonna put on me plastic underwear,

plastic trousers, and plastic top and go downstairs and fill the kettle with

fluoride-filled tap water and have a cup of heavy

metal tea. And then I'm gonna eat some refined sugar,

heavy metal cereal sprinkled with some microplastics 'cause there's not enough in

my bollocks. Then I'm gonna make some fake bread

sandwiches with fake

butter and suffocate my lunch in a plastic wrap and put it all in plastic

boxes. I'll check my phone again for some more

radiation poisoning,

pop in me earbuds, and microwave my brain on the way to work.

Work my bollocks off all day to hand half of me wages over to pedophiles,

come home, drink some cans of heavy metal toxic beer

just to dull my

senses, order some seed oil-rich takeaway in more

plastic boxes, and sit down and watch a bunch of Masonic billionaires

who don't

give a fuck about me kick a ball around over and

over and over and over again. And then in the

summer, I can take a two-week break from slavery.

I can arrive at the airport, queue for some last-minute

concentrated radiation, and get through and spend some more

money on more cheaper poison. Drink shit beer, eat shit

food. I can rub some more parabens onto my skin

to mix with the seed oil

sweating out of my pores and fast-track skin cancer.

Fly home, wash, rinse, and repeat until I'm retired, become a

fucking cabbage watching repeats of dog shit TV, more and

more reliant on the doctor who's peddling me big pharma poison, get

diagnosed with a serious disease, and then fucking die.