Lifeguard Comedy at the Spa

Oh. Oh.

Ah.

Huh?

Hmm.

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No roughhousing in the spa!

Settle down, please!

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You're, uh, you're talking to me?

Cut the horseplay, sir!

Or I'll be forced to eject you from the swimming facility!

Thank you so much! I-I'm sorry.

Uh...

Who exactly are you?

Lifeguard on duty, sir! If you don't mind, I have to watch the water.

You're the lifeguard for the little jacuzzi here.

Correct, sir. Continue splashing, and I'll be forced to ban you from all aquatic activity.

Thank you.

You know, I'm just splashing water on myself, on my face. Of course you were,

sir. Then the other guy's doing it. Then the other guy. Next thing you know, a body goes under and there's bloated carcass stuck in the filter.

So if you don't mind... But I'm the only guy in this jacuzzi right now.

I am on watch, sir. I cannot have this conversation right now.

ATTENTION SWIMMER!

ATTENTION SWIMMER!

YOU ARE TOO FAR!

RETURN IMMEDIATELY!

You're talking to me?

SLIDE BACK TO THE WALL!

YOU ARE BLOCKING THE BUBBLE JETS! REPEAT! YOU ARE BLOCKING THE BUBBLE JETS!

Alright, fine. It's over here, good.

Watch that undertow, sir! It'll pull you right out!

Heads

up! Excuse me, what are you doing?

Wait, what? What is this? Six o'clock, sir!

This side of the pool is for lap swimming only! What?

Afternoon, Mr. Garson. Good to see you, Frank.

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Lap time is over! Whoo! That's been great.

-♪♪♪♪ Resume general swim!

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No diving, sir!

No diving! I'm not diving, I just... The Empire Waterfront staff appreciates your cooperation!

Thank you so much!

Ow.

Ah.

Ow.

Is there an emergency, sir? No, I just got a small cramp in my toe.

Cramp?

Everyone, be calm.

Stay away from this area.

There's nothing to see here.

You're not talking about me, are you? Swimmer, do not panic. I am a trained professional

lifesaver. You're not. Let's go.

Do not fight me, sir.

Just relax.

What the hell are you doing?

Can you hear me, sir? Yes, I can hear you. Can you hear me? Yes!

No!

It's not your time yet!

I'm okay! I am okay! You know, I don't appreciate this! This is horrible!

That's okay, sir, you don't have to thank me!

You've been exposed to a terrible trauma!

Just play it safe from now on.

I think I'm gonna go for a little swim.