Satirical Matrix Morning Routine: Chemicals, Chick-fil-A and EMF

Oh, another day- Another day in the Matrix ... in the Matrix. Let's go freshen up, sweetheart.

Starting off the morning with some fluoride for our toothpaste.

Some aluminum for our deodorant. Phthalates and endocrine disruptors for my perfume.

And the same ingredients in automotive grease are in my hair gel.

Babe, I got our favorite for breakfast, Silly Putty chicken.

Silly Putty? Isn't this just Chick-fil-A?

Well, one of the 55 ingredients in here is the same as Silly Putty.

Silly Putty ingredient in the chicken. That's gotta be toxic. Are they trying to poison us?

Babe. Babe. Babe, snap back into the Matrix.

Silly Putty chicken. Bill Gates must be proud, babe.

Ha. All right. It's time to shackle into the corporate Matrix for the day.

Gotta make sure the router's pointed directly at us.

Perfect, sweetheart. I'll make sure the laptop's directly on my ball sack.

And I'll have the AirPods radiating directly through my brain.

Perfect. Maximum EMF exposure for the next eight hours, sweetheart.

And don't forget our energy sludge. My favorite. Cheers to the Matrix.