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I always thought, like, the, the death part of it, it's, it's a little unsettling, especially when it is very sudden.

Um, I dealt with a lot of hospice patients, so a lot of their deaths, like, it was something that was of a finish, that they're actually finally finding peace.

Um, the kids, the young children, I always like to think that maybe possibly something bad was going to happen to them soon, and that this kind of kept them from experience some- experiencing something that was horrible.

And there are so many horrible things going on in this world that you become, um, kind of introduced to in, in that line of business that you can kind of set yourself aside and see that, okay, this child that might have lost their life from a motor vehicle accident might have been in some sort of situation later on in life,

and it kind of helped them keep them from doing that.

They keep their innocence, if, if you will.

That's an interesting take. So, it's kind of like this idea of...

I don't know if I, if you want to call it faith.

That they're going to a better place. Yeah. They're always going to a better place.

Do you believe in, like, the afterlife? Like, what do you think happens when we die?

And this is a random turn for a porn- ... podcast to take, but, like, since we're on the subject, like... Mm-hmm.

I, I believe that there is something. I don't know what it is.

I don't know if it's maybe a manifestation of ourselves or if it's some huge thing where we can go back and be with the people that we loved, um, or if it's just nothingness.

But in a way, if it is just nothingness, then wouldn't it want to make your living your life here as good as you want it?

So, I, I always try to teeter on that line of, of I'm going somewhere cool, but you know what?

I'm going to s- live my life here just as well as I could possibly live it there, just in case if nothing happens later on.

Right. As opposed to, like, people who, you know... I mean, obviously, this, this really plays out in religion, but people who deny themselves all kinds of pleasure and live these, like, kind of really strict Calvinistic lifestyles because they think- Mm-hmm ... that they're going to have this marvelous afterlife afterwards.

And I always, you know, think to myself, like, "Man, like, what if you're wrong and, like, you don't get that and you wasted your life?"

But then I'm like, "What if I'm wrong and there is a afterlife and then I don't get to go 'cause I'm doing, like, all this shady shit in my regular life?"

And I guess, like- But the thing- ... ultimately, I mean, we'll never know, right?

And there's probably some comfort that people must get.

There, there's gotta be, like, an enormous amount of comfort from people who believe in the afterlife and believe that they're going to heaven afterwards.

I feel like that in itself is a kind of a reward to have, really have that faith.

I don't know. But then there's this faith, and then there's this thing of, like, you, you're not being able to enjoy this world, this life right now that you're living in, in this moment, because you're waiting for something in the future.

Yeah, exactly. You're waiting for this- Like, what is that? ... better thing.

And then, well, if I have to be this pure person now, then what is that better place?

Like, what are you going to be able to do in that better place that's going to be amazing?

Yeah. It's like if you can't have- That you want to struggle so many times- Right ... in the here and now.

Yeah. Like, if you can't have orgies now, are you gonna be able to have them later in the afterlife?

Yeah. Like... Do those thoughts just disappear?

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. It's crazy, right? It's like...

I don't know. Okay. My head's going to explode.