Song about Jared Kushner's Influence

Basement light.

Perfect suit.

No pulse in sight.

Where do we even begin?

Same blank stare, same slick hair

Never seems to blink in there

Two billion here, a coastline there

Every time you turn around Jared's somehow everywhere

Jared, what are you?

What are you? What are you?

Jared, what are you?

Tell me what is underneath that suit

Basement boy, island man

Money flying gulf to gulf into the master plan

Jared, what are you?

Somebody check if this dude is human

Daddy caught a federal case, and that story gets insane

Private eye, revenge, a hidden tape

You couldn't write that screenplay

Then Jared's talking peace deals with the Billionaire Grin

Calls Gaza Waterfront Valuable Real Estate

Brain Kicks In Affinity Saudi Billions

Qatar Money Joins The Room

Jared's Fun Keeps Getting Bigger While The Headlines Go BOOM!

No Cape, No Badge, No Elected Chair

Yet Somehow Every Global Deal Has Jared Standing There!

JARED PUTTA! What are you?

What are you? What are you?

Jed! What are you?

Tell me what is underneath that suit.

Basement boy! Island man!

Money flying gulf to gulf into the master plan.

Jed! What are you?

Somebody check if this dude is human.

Wait.

He's buying an island?

Desan? A luxury resort?!

Epstead Island TWO! D.O.! Rogan!

Trump on the show?

Who made the calls?

Nobody knows! CB.MBS! Money overseas?!

Jared just smiles like, Please proceed.

žaid! what are you?

ž What are YOU?!

žaid! What are you?

ž Why do you never blink, dude?!

ск Gulfskull Boy! Island King!

Middle East deals and a billion dollar thing!

Jared, what are you?

What are you?

What are you?

Maybe he's human.

Probably.