Satirical Guide to Making a Flu Vaccine at Home

Your own is easier than brewing your own beer.

And it could save your life. Well, the first thing you need is a live virus.

Now, is there anyone here suffering from the

flu?

Oh, uh, I, I...

Sir, would you favor us by discharging directly

onto these chicken

embryos?

Uh, anything I can do to help.

Okay.

Oh.

We now have our chicken embryos and our live virus.

Now, from the pickled frog jar at your local

school's biology class-

... we'll keep that virus dead like the drug

companies do with formaldehyde.

Ugh.

Now, careful. Don't get any frog in the mix.

That'd be gross.

Now, uh, let's add a little ether.

Oh.

Careful, don't fall asleep.

And then we dump some detergent in there.

That keeps it clean.

And remember when your mother lost her mind when you played with mercury because

it

never leaves your body? Well, that makes it a great preservative.

If you have a thermometer...

Well, staying healthy is a lot more important than room

temperature.

Now, all of this goes into the centrifuge, like this blender, and...

Hey, hey, hey.

It's vaccine for the whole family.

Well, the debate over whether vaccines usually

don't work or aren't fully

safe may never end, which at least explains why the contents

are

rarely publicized.

Uh, I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm just, I'm just cold showers.