Struggles of Dating in Your 30s

I am 30 and have never been in a relationship,

let alone on a date

or had my first kiss yet.

And I'm slowly starting to believe that it will never happen

because of, I, I'm losing, I'm losing faith in

dating.

Or just, I mean, I'm on the apps, I put myself out there,

um,

and it's just, it's abysmal. I mean, I don't wanna date where

I'm from because, you know,

one,

um,

I live in a red state, and I have very blue belie- you know,

very, you know,

blue beliefs. And I, you know, too many people in this state wear the

MAGA hat.

And

they want kids, they want a f- you know, the men here want a family.

Of course they do because they don't have to take care of them.

Um,

and

the pool, the dating pool here is just ...

Hell has better options

than where I live. So I go outside of my state to

date.

Also because I'm very, very worried that I may end up dating or

marrying someone I'm related to, you know, very distantly, but that's a

whole nother story.

I can't even attract my type, and my type is skinny and scrawny

nerds.

I mean,

it, the...

I mean,

it's, I, I'm hopeless. I, I feel so hopeless because the only men

that really meet my standards are one, Min Yoongi from BTS, and

two, a host of fictional characters who are,

who

just...

I don't know. It's, this,

I feel

so hopeless. I feel like I'm going to be single forever

when all my friends got married in their 20s and all, all have like their second or

third kid by now.

Do I want kids? No. But that's just, that's just the point I'm trying to make

is

that, you know, they've been married for a while,

and you know, they met when they were in their 20s, and I never got that.

I never had a relationship in high school. I never got to experience that.

And

I don't know. I, I don't know if I'm ever going to experience falling in

love

and

maybe getting married one day. I don't know.

It's,

it's so hopeless out here.

Like every time I swipe on a guy, you know...

Am I ugly? Is that, is that the whole issue?

Like, 'cause if that's the issue, I need someone to tell me because

that way I can

take myself off the dating apps and resort myself to just

being a, a spinster for the rest of my life.

Like I can't even, I'm not my type's type.

You know, I hear that a lot, and it's true. I'm not my type's type.

And

I just,

I, I, I need to know that if anybody else is having the same issues

just dating in general and living in a small town

and not being attracted to anyone around you except when you go

outside of st- outside your state.

Um,

and just feeling hopeless that

the dating scene is never gonna change because even if you do match with someone,

half the time they don't even ask questions about you.

You're the one holding the conversation.

And finally you get tired of it, and you, you unmatch and you th- and I

think that,

I think what if that's the only match I ever get?

You know, what if that's the only guy that ever matches with me?

Because all the other guys that swipe on me are just...

Oh, God. Um,

so yeah. This is, this is my little rant about

how I feel hopeless about dating,

dating in your 30s. Um, I don't even know if I can call it dating

in my 30s 'cause I haven't even been on a date.

It's,

it's rough out here. Check on your single friends because

it,

it's, it's worse than hell.

So yeah.

It's gotta get better, right? It, it's gotta get better.

Yeah