0:00

Superman.

0:02

Say cheese. You're Batman. Mr. Wayne. Clark Kent, Daily Planet.

0:12

What's your position on the bat vigilante in Gotham?

0:16

This Batman thinks he's above the law.

0:25

Kent. You're the, uh, new guy in town, is that right?

0:29

You, uh, could say that.

0:35

We do things a little differently in Gotham.

0:40

Do you?

0:43

I know you. Uh, I don't, I don't think so. Excuse us.

0:48

People ever tell you you look like Superman?

0:51

No, I've never heard that before. Hmm. Like I said, Mr. Wayne- ... people in Gotham need to learn- You're Superman.

1:03

Hey, will you- What is this? ... take a picture with us? Get Clark Kent too.

1:06

I gotta get this on the Gram. Thanks. My wife's a big fan.

1:12

Ugh. What do they call it when, you know, there's a celebrity that- Yes ... your wife would have sex with?

1:18

You're that guy. Okay. Say cheese. Wait a minute. Put the phone back up for a second.

1:29

You're Batman. I got Batman and Superman over here.

1:34

Look, I think you have me confused with somebody else.

1:37

Yeah, look at that. Hey, hey, off. Whoa. Awesome.

1:41

We're just having a conversation. Oh, I'm s- I didn't realize you were having a conversation. Hey, everybody.

1:46

They're having a conversation. They don't want any regular people to bother them.

1:49

I'll just leave you guys alone then. Thank you.

1:54

Anyway, as I was saying, I think the people of Metropolis need to learn that they can't trust an alien with the power to burn the entire civilization down.

2:04

Yeah, Batman and Superman. They should have a fight or something.

2:08

Is that so? I don't know what's going on.

2:10

Metropolis- Hey, I'll put it this way. Yo, what up Periscope? It's your boy Jim.

2:15

I'm here with Batman and Sup- Shut your mouth or I'll throw you off this planet.

2:27

And I will rip your off. Boys. Bruce Wayne meets Clark Kent. I love it. I love bringing people together.

2:35

Superman, Batman. Bat- what? Batman? That's not Batman. That guy, he's in a nice suit.

2:41

Batman wears a, a flowing cape. No, and this is not Sup- Superman has perfect vision, whereas this man's in, in glasses.

2:46

Yeah, well- What? Look. Oh my God.

2:53

I, I feel like such an idiot. Of course it's him.

2:55

Yeah. I can see why you'd feel that way.

2:56

Yeah. It took me, like, two seconds to figure it out.

2:59

I wasted my whole life trying to kill a journalist. I'm so embarrassed. Carry on.

3:02

I, I like your column. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, look at this.

3:07

Batman. It's Batman. It's true. I am Batman.

3:14

You're not Batman. I'm Lego Batman.

3:19

Nobody cares about Lego Batman.

3:24

True. Ask your kids if they care. We're still vital.

3:29

Anyway, I came here to warn you. Stop, or I'll stop you.

3:35

We'll try.

3:38

Yo, yo, yo. Could I get everyone's attention, please?

3:41

First of all, give it up for the DJ who's been chopping it up all night. You know what I'm saying. And I wanna welcome our special guests, Batman and Superman in the house. Hit it.

3:53

You know the song. Yeah. Soldier boy up in this ho. Watch me crank it, watch me roll. Watch me crank that Soulja Boy.

4:00

There's Superman in this ho. Hi, Jimmy. I'm with you.

4:06

I'm with you. Crank that Soulja Boy. Crank that Soulja Boy. Now watch.

4:09

Soldier boy up in the ho. Thank you. Watch me crank it, watch me roll.

4:35

Hey, mister, you okay?

4:39

You're on Mars.

4:43

Oh, you gotta be kidding me.

4:47

Oh, God. Kimmel.

End of transcript · 593 words

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