Delta Disruptive: A Satirical Airline Section for Unruly Passengers

At Delta, we strive to provide a safe, enjoyable flight to everyone. Unfortunately, incidents of unruly behavior are on the rise. Nobody should have to deal with the stress of a disorderly passenger on their flight. And now, they won't have to.

Introducing Delta Disruptive, a new section of the plane exclusively for crazy people.

Hey, hey, hey. That's in my seat. The Illuminati are eating the cats.

Boy, they got those toes. I wanna lick 'em.

You see, Delta didn't wanna deal with the constant problems these passengers create, but we still wanted their money . So whether you're a basic inconsiderate A-hole or a paranoid lunatic who tries to open the door mid-flight- This plane is made out of Israel ... Delta Disruptive is for you.

Usually, they're like, "You can't wear that.

You can see your whole ass." But now I can wear whatever I want and tell everybody the truth about what's really going on.

This bitch behind me is not real, and that she is a shadow person that only I can see.

In Delta Disruptive, I can be who I wanna be and read what I wanna read.

And they never make you check your bag, 'cause if you say it'll fit, it'll fit.

There are some rules in Delta Disruptive.

For instance, you can't stab people with a pen.

Even if they're in your seat. Ah. Okay, okay, okay, okay. But almost anything else is fine.

And if you're worried that a section full of crazy people won't be safe, don't be. All Delta Disruptive flight attendants are the toughest, gayest ex-Spirit Airlines employees who have seen much worse.

Oh, hell no. What did I say? If your damn iguana bit another passenger, I'm gonna throw it out the plane.

Give me that goddamn lizard.

Now I'm gonna go back to watching pornographies on my phone.

And thanks to four-inch thick acoustic plexiglass, regular passengers won't be bothered by anyone in Delta Disruptive, no matter what's going on back there. So stop being met by law enforcement when you land, and start flying Delta Disruptive.

Currently available on all domestic flights within Florida.

Oh, you think I'm not gonna go find your second iguana, bitch?