Parenting Challenges with Adult Children

Yeah.

My daughter is 20 years old, but she started seeing a 50-year-old

man.

Oh.

Your daughter is, is 20 years old and she's started,

she's started seeing a 50-year-old man. I don't know.

I mean, I think that thing of like if people are of age,

let them, let, you know, she's a grownup. Okay?

I know, but it, it kills me.

Yeah, I know it, I know it kills you, but it's, it, it's, your, your,

your job as a father has changed, hasn't it?

And it's difficult to make that transition.

It's difficult to let your kids go, 'cause you want your kids, um, to

struggle, but you don't want them to suffer.

You want them to get bruises, not scars.

And you're a dad, and to you she'll always be a little girl.

But there's different stages of being a dad, aren't there?

There's, there's the first 12 years you direct,

and then

the next sort of 10 years you advise, and then after

that you discuss, and I think you're on the discussion end

of

things, right?

Yeah.

It's tough though, innit? It's a tough thing. I feel for you, man.

But

it's, it's a conversation now and, uh,

something's gone wrong along the way. She's clearly got daddy issues.

Huh.

What, is she here?

She's not.

She's not here.

No, she's, uh-

Well, it's, it's a weird thing though, isn't it? With the, with the sexes.

I've got a theory with my friend Will Storr.

We sort of were talking about this recently.

We're saying, look,

women are sex objects to a, to a, not every- well, you know what I mean,

like broad

brush. Women are sex objects and men are success objects.

Why are older men attractive to young women? It's not just the money.

They're not gold diggers. It's the competence.

Women like competence.

They don't find boys attractive, they find men attractive,

and she's just gone,

"Oh, he could take care of me."

Maybe you took great care of her and she's looking for someone to replace

you in

her life.

And if it works, it works, and if not, you've just gotta be there for her no

matter

what make- mistakes she makes. You're there for shelter.

And then I can go and find him and sort him out.

Yeah.

Well, if something goes wrong, maybe, but it's that thing, you're there for

shelter. Yeah, that's what a parent's job is, isn't it?

Is financial and emotional and physical shelter.

You're there to provide shelter. She'll always have a room in your house if

anything goes wrong. Just be there for her, come rain or shine.

You'll be fine, man.

Thank you.

Good luck.