Star Wars Parody: Anakin and Obi-Wan Debate MAGA and the Dark Side

Is he in the ship, Padme? I've brought Obi-Wan with me like you've asked, but he told me terrible things, Anakin.

What things exactly? He said you've turned to the dark side, and he said he's watched a video of you killing the younglings.

Obi-Wan is a boomer. He must have watched some AI slops on Facebook. You know how it is in these days. Forget about it.

So you didn't turn to the dark side? I was low-key hoping you did, actually.

You did turn to the dark side, huh? Because- Love won't save you. Only through power can you be saved.

I am tired of the politics, Anakin. Neither party wants to make this country better anymore.

Then we shall burn it to the ground and rebuild from the ashes.

And together, we shall rule the galaxy and make things the way we want them to be.

He's coming. Follow my lead. Stop. Stop now.

Come back. I love you. Liar.

No. You're with him. You brought him here to kill me.

No. Harder, Daddy. Let her go, Anakin. Harder.

Let her go.

You've turned her against me, Obi-Wan. She just wanted you to be a good goy, Anakin.

Yet here you are. Have you come all the way here to kill me, Master, so you could be a good goy to your masters?

Your anger and your obsession with imagined masters have already blinded you, Anakin.

You have allowed this antisemitic propaganda to twist your mind until now, until now you have become the very thing you swore to destroy.

Don't lecture me, Obi-Wan. I see through the lies of MAGA.

You sold us America first, then handed us another war.

I want American industry rebuilt, our borders secured, and our soldiers brought home to my new empire.

Your new empire? An empire George Washington would be proud of.

Anakin, my allegiance is to MAGA, to Judeo-Christianity.

It's either Judaism or Christianity. No such thing as Judeo-Christianity.

Only a Nazi deals in absolutes. I'll do what I must to prevent the Fourth Reich from arising.

You will try.