Discussing Rape Culture and Its Impact

When I was 15, I got raped at a party.

It was my first time drinking, and I was wearing a Hawaiian shirt

with long khaki shorts.

And I never pursued legal action against my rapist for a

number of reasons. Number one, I didn't think anything would come of

it. Number two, I was told that he was an

undocumented immigrant, and I didn't want to involve innocent

family members.

And number three,

I didn't think anyone would believe me because after my

rapist raped me,

he contacted me on Snapchat

and asked if we were cool to cover his tracks.

And because I was 15 years old and had no

idea how to process the horrors that he had just

subjected me to,

I agreed that we were cool. And so,

we were cool.

How could I ever claim that he had

brutally raped me when I had afterwards agreed

that we were cool on Snapchat?

And months later, when I worked up the courage to confront

him and tell him, "Hey,

like, you raped me and you know you raped me,"

you know what he said to me?

He said, "Sorry,"

broken heart emoji.

I'm sorry, broken heart emoji. You are taught to perceive

rape as a black-and-white issue because having a super

strict black-and-white definition of rape keeps

the rape culture going around. It keeps it alive. It sustains it.

My rapist went on to rape several other girls in the same way that he

raped me, and he would sustain friendships with

them, too,

so that he couldn't look guilty. How could he be a

rapist

if we said on Snapchat that we're cool?

The silver lining of this Cornell case, if there is any, is that it's

getting people to talk. And in my personal opinion, the more we

talk about rape culture, the more we can dismantle it.

My rapist ruined my life,

and he's not even the last one that assaulted me.

But what also ruined my life beyond getting raped

itself was the horrible conversations

and narratives and rumors and assumptions I was subjected to

because of rape culture. I lived the rest of my high school

experience

thinking I was a whore and being told to my face

that I was a whore because my rape did not fit

the girl walking down a dark alleyway at night

and getting violated stereotype

of what rape looks like. We don't always get to see justice for

victims

on a massive scale, right?

But we can seek justice by continuing to have these conversations,

whether it be

to your followers or to your family or to your friends, in public or in

private. Just keep talking about it.

Just keep talking about it.