Spanish → English transcript

Has any celebrity ever messaged you?

I’m not going to tell you the name.

Just tell me the team, nothing else.

He is… Right now he is The Eye of the World,

so that you understand me.

He is trending everywhere.

I’m going to tell you how he talked to me because it is pathetic.

He sent me one of those one-second pics.

But wait, is he Spanish, not Spanish?

I told you he is The Eye of the World, he is trending.

You just think whatever you want to think.

Think.

He sent me a one-second pic

with a wad of bills and a Louis Vuitton bag.

Seriously or not?

I think it is pathetic.

But what I don’t get is how Fatty Vázquez could fall for it.

I mean, I thought she was smarter.

By the way, you were talking about…

Don’t say it!

Don’t say it!

I told you I wasn’t going to tell you the name.

But anyway, I mean…

I also told you the story so that

you can’t keep using that tactic and the girls know about it

because I know he messages quite a few of them.

So, what’s the trick? Does he send you a bomb little pic?

A bomb little pic that is set up,

because it is more than set up, then I said to him,

hey, send me a photo of how you are right now.

And obviously it was a different moment.

I mean, I find it pathetic.

And what do you think? That just because you have a wad of cash

or are a footballer

you’re going to win me over?

And that’s it, then, come on, off you go home.

We’re going to the hotel.

But did he send you a pic like that and that was it, or did he say, “Hi, how are you?”

No, no, he sent me the photo.

Literally.