Team Canada: The Tariff Titanic

In 2026,

they told Canadians their plans would be

unsinkable.

Mark Carney said this was unsinkable.

Um, welcome aboard Team Canada. Uh, nothing can stop

this ship.

They were very confident.

Elbows up. Full speed ahead.

Aye, aye, captain.

And thought nothing could stop them.

Steering ahead, full throttle.

I'm on top of the world.

Along the way-

Woo-hoo

... friendships will be forged,

and some of them will get a little too close for comfort.

I'm on top of the world.

Woo-hoo. Woo!

I heard you're an artist.

Yeah. What about it?

I need you to do me a favor.

Hidden talents will be revealed.

They thought they were safe with the Team Canada crew

watching over the passengers.

They were wrong.

Tragedy struck-

Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, baker's man

... in the middle of the night.

Trumpberg!

When the Trumpberg appeared.

Ah. Ah, don't let go. Ah. Ah.

Disaster has struck. The people look to their captain

to stay strong-

Ah

... remain calm-

Abandon ship. Abandon ship. Every they/them for

themselves

... and somehow rescue everyone.

Out of my way, grandma.

This is my kid. I saw him first. Fine, I'll find another kid to steal.

Team Canada must stay united-

Let go, Doug. It's a woman's jacket. It's too small for you.

No, Ontario first.

Ah.

If they want any chance-

Oh my God

... of surviving this disaster, they will have to assemble a

rescue team.

Attention, everyone. Go find another boat.

This one is for the important rescue team.

Which just happens to be themselves.

Get out, you old hag. This boat is for the rescue team.

Ah.

Let me on. I have a child.

Hurry up. Get rid of that thing.

Aye, aye, captain.

In a life and death situation, tough decisions

have to be made.

We are taking on water, captain.

Too much weight. We're sinking. We need to get rid of something heavy.

Why is everyone looking at me like that? Hey, what are you doing?

Ah, help.

The Tariff Titanic is destroyed. Many will

not make it.

I want you to live, Rose. Find Mark Carney and tell him to fuck off.

Jack? Jack, no, don't go. Jack.

Jack, come back.

Jack? My name is Doug.

Huh? What the hell are you talking about?

Don't cry. I know, I'm hungry, too.

One captain who wouldn't turn, one crew that

grabbed the lifeboats first,

one Trumpberg they swore they could out-elbow.

Team Canada: The Tariff Titanic, an

RPN production. Now playing in Canada-only

theater near you.