Politically Opposed Brothers Clash in Gas Station Robbery Skit

I need $20 on pump five, Muhammad. My name is Samir, and you got it, boss.

Don't give us that halal gas, buddy.

Chudley, is that you?

C- Cuckley?

Whoa. Is that your twin?

No. Yes.

We're not related. Chudley, we shared a womb.

And you were a commie in there, too.

Chudley, this is my partner. Your business partner?

My life partner, Chudley.

Dude, your brother's a liberal? I don't wanna talk about it.

That's incredibly offensive. We're proud progressive socialists.

Dude, am I tripping right now?

Boss, you still want the 20 on pump five?

Yes, Abdul. Chudley, that's Islamophobic. Actually, that's my middle name.

Don't mansplain me when I'm defending you.

Everybody get on the ground. This is a robbery, people.

Ah! Wait. Before we criminalize him, has anyone considered his socioeconomic circumstances?

Be quiet.

Not in my store, habibi. Ah! Can we please deescalate without reinforcing systemic oppression?

Ah! We were ambushed by Antifa and Black Lives Matter.

Then Hamas came out from behind the counter with an AK-47, and this is all because Republicans lost the midterms.

We were attacked by white nationalists, MAGA extremists.

But police arrested a robber.

Robber? He was reclaiming generational wealth.

And frankly, that question was racist.