Critique of Argentine Football Team

I hate the Argentine football team.

They are the most despicable, time wasting, cheating,

cynical, nasty,

that have ever existed.

The New Zealand rugby union team,

possibly the greatest rugby union team of all time, the New Zealand All Blacks,

have a policy called the No Dickheads policy. And that works like this.

If they think you're a dickhead, regardless of your talent,

you will never ever put on the All Blacks shirt and play for the All Blacks.

You will get kicked out.

Whereas Argentina have a policy called the All Dickhead policy, which is, the

only way you get to play for Argentina is if you're a massive bellend.

So you just have to look at their behaviour, the cynicism, the nastiness,

the kicking, the persistent fouling.

The moment you touch them,

they throw themselves to the ground like they've actually just been shot.

The moment that you touch Messi, there's about ten of them that just

come flooding around and shouting and screaming.

I don't know, like he's some just disabled child who's in a wheelchair and you've

just kicked him into a canal and everybody's had a meltdown, like suddenly you're

the bad guy. Instead of him just being a socially awkward,

inept dwarf, who's brilliant at football and that's about it,

and yet you're not allowed to challenge him.

You know what we call the Argentines in South America? The English of South America.

That's how you know they're hated.