Humorous Dialogue on Current Events

What's up, motherfucker? So I want the hotel there,

I want the golf club there.

Excuse me, I live here.

Not anymore, buddy.

Brilliant. I've been kicked out my own house.

Is anyone gonna help me?

Hiya, rest of the world here. Don't worry, we're on it.

Thank God.

We've sent them a letter.

What?

Telling them not to.

But they keep doing it.

We're still doing it, mate. Stole your fucking chair, look.

We'll send them another letter.

Oh.

All right, so I've been really enjoying this,

but I'm not popular right now, so

maybe we could try not invading random countries. Is that okay?

What?

Okay, no worries. I'm a good boy. Can you rub my belly? Rub me, my belly.

Call me a good boy. Please rub my belly.

So if I call the Strait of Hormuz the Strait of America, does

that mean I've won?

No.

Oh.

So is he, like, your pet?

Yeah, look. I can make him do tricks. Give me money.

Is that enough? I can do more.

More. Is that child flying a kite?

Uh, yeah.

I've got him. I've got him. I've got him.

I think you've been doing some pretty horrific shit, mate.

Don't worry, mate. I'll look into it.

You'll look into yourself?

Yeah. I think we're fine.

Leave him alone.

More.